Sunday, November 7, 2010

Worse to.....?

After Brian's surgery, Things were calming down. Davey became really distant with me, and it bothered me a lot, but he wouldn't really explain why, and although it left an empty unsettled spot in my heart, I tried to give him his space because I knew he had a lot of weight on his shoulders lately in his own life, and I had just added to it with my accident, stress in my life and being a bit demanding about the whole wedding thing. So I told him if he needed to talk, I was here. But I missed him more than ever.
As Snoogie and I were driving home one night, my pickup truck started making a loud humming noise from the rear end. I took it to my parent's mechanic the next day, who told me that it had blown a seal in the differential, and all the oil had leaked out, and what was left had burned up, and stuff was breaking. He said it would be $2200 to replace it with a junkyard part. I couldn't believe my streak of bad luck was not over. I texted Davey about it, and he said to call him right away.
"That is ridiculous!", he said. "Someone is trying to rip you off! Let me make a couple calls and get back to you."
So he did, and told me I should try to get it rebuilt with new parts instead of junkyard ones, and that I was not to pay that much. I had told Ninja about it too, and he was able to put me in touch with a friend of his that does rebuilds for off-roaders, so I took my truck to him and dropped it off. It ended up costing me substantially less, and all the parts were new. And now I have a new mechanic that is totally awesome.
About a week after this, Brian got hyper and jumped sideways. His leg bent out away from his body and stayed there. I felt ill. I tucked him into bed and called Davey crying. "I think I am going to have to consider putting him down. I am not an endless well of money. I don't know what to do."
Davey told me not to panic till I figured out what was really going on, and tried to make me feel better. On the way back to the surgeon, my ex, Mr.P, called. I broke down sobbing and told him everything.
"Aww, there, there..." He tried to soothe me. "Don't freak out yet. You are not going to have to put him down. He is your baby. Look, if worst comes to worst, I will give you my vacation pay so you can have the surgery redone. You don't have to pay me back. Just let me know if you need it."
Ninja also asked me how much I would be short and if I needed some help, and in spite of my stress, I was very relieved to be surrounded by extraordinary friends who would give so much for me. In spite of my bad luck, I am a lucky girl indeed.
As it turned out, the metal plate in Brian's leg had bent due to some type of manufacturer's defect, and the surgeon said I would owe nothing for now, and he would try to bill everything back to the manufacturer. So Brian had his second surgery and is currently still in a cast with a stronger metal plate in his leg.
On a side note, as if the month could not get get any worse, Davey has said we need to go back to being just friends for now, as life situations and me are too much to cope with right now, but that he will never stop loving me. I am confused as hell. It is more painful than anything else that has gone wrong to date, and every time I want to lose control emotionally, I remind myself to be strong and let things be as they will. He has still called me pet names occasionally, and once let slip the "I love you", but he barely keeps in touch anymore and I am afraid I am losing him. He acts like he cares a little, but I can't tell what is going on. I am just trying to honour his wishes while still being here for him. It feels like it's killing me.

Bad to Worse

I saw Davey about a week later. He drove most of the way, and I met him in Detroit, at Churfy's. He was incredibly sweet, and just held me and wouldn't let go. He did everything for me, including cutting my food and driving, as I was still in a cast. I have never felt so much love and appreciation for a boyfriend as I did then, realizing that he was focused solely on caring for me, and giving me all the love and attention I could ever hope for. He was and is, simply amazing in my eyes.
I returned home, and Spaz and D-prime asked me if my chihuahua, Brian, whom is the apple of D-prime's eye, could carry the rings down the aisle at their wedding. Of course he could, so a tuxedo and ring pillow was ordered.
Three days later, I went outside to bring Brian in, but when I called him, there was no response. I started looking for him, and eventually heard a rustle under the deck. He was there, shaking and terrified. He had broken his leg. I rushed him to an emergency clinic where I found out he had also dislocated his hip and bruised his liver. I left him at the vet's that night, and returned to take him in for surgery the next day. The surgery was going to be $2500 and I had already been off work three weeks. I was stressed.
Again, Davey called me and soothed me, saying that I would be back to work soon, he knew I could handle it, and to just take a deep breath and tomorrow is a new day. He reminded me that it was not time to panic yet, as I had enough to cover this emergency. He was right, as he often is.
But Brian lost his job as ring bearer as he ended up with a metal plate in his leg and was not hardly walking at the time of the wedding.
I begged Davey one last time to come to the wedding with me, but he said, "Baby, I'm sorry. I just can't be there."
"Fine," I said, "I'll take Ninja."
"Honey, whatever makes you happy. If you want to take Ninja, take him." But he said it with that disapproving note in his voice, and I felt bad for being a little mean.
"No, I'll go alone," I answered. "I don't want to disrespect you in any way."
"Whatever. Do what you want. It's not like it'll bother me, after all."
I knew I had hit a sore spot and tried to apologize, but he wouldn't answer me.

The Aftermath

I ended up spending two days in the hospital, and having two metal plates and six pins put in my wrist, which was stapled and stitched up, leaving me with a couple sizeable scars. But, hey, at least they aren't on my face. That would have been worse. I ended up on some pretty powerful pain killers and in a cast for my return to my parents place, where it was agreed I would spend my recovery so I would have help and not be alone. I had to go to physiotherapy three times a week, and had had a bad concussion as well.
As soon as I was coherent, I had a call from Davey. "Baby, I was so worried! Are you ok? I got a message from your brother saying you had been in a bad accident, and he didn't say what kind of accident, or how badly you were hurt. I was going crazy till I got ahold of your mother! Honey, I want to be there so bad. This is so hard for me. I hate this. I'm too far away. I want to be there to look after you and baby you."
A tear fell. "I miss you so much," I said. "I really need you right now. I want your arms around me."
"Baby, don't cry. We'll figure something out. I'm here for you. I love you like crazy. You just try to relax and get all healed up, and get lots of sleep, darling. Don't worry about anything. I'll see you before too long."
I was crying a fair bit by this point. He just stayed on the phone and kept telling me how much I meant to him, and that everything would be ok, until I calmed down. "We can deal with this, baby. It just seems big right now. I'll keep checking up on you. Get some rest, love."
I hung up and fell asleep, but woke a lot due to pain. The next morning I dealt with all the messages on my phone. One was from Kristi, saying "I heard something happened. Call me asap, woman.", and one from Ninja, saying "Are you ok? What the hell happened?!" I was busy answering people for a while.
D-prime and Spaz's wedding was coming up on the 10th of October, so I was hoping my cast would be off by then, and it was. I went on temporary disability and had some time off from work until such time as my surgeon approved me to go back. I went to physio faithfully, but healing was a slow process.

The Accident

Sunday morning I hopped on my motorcycle, and headed back to Cambridge. About half an hour from my parent's house, a light mist of rain began to coat my windshield and my helmet visor. "Crap, I'm gonna get wet on the way home," I thought, as I hit the brakes to slow for an approaching bend.
I woke up groggily in a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown. All my clothes had been cut off, and my arm was laying on pillows beside me, looking strangely twisted, and very painful. I began to make out people in the room. The first was my Mother. "Mumsy, where is my bike?!", I said in a panic.
MUMSY: Honey, you have other things to worry about right now. You crashed the bike.
LIZZY: (nearly frantic) Is it ok?!
MUMSY: No, dear. It's totalled.
LIZZY: Oh no. (with a slight smile) Guess that means I'll have to go bike shopping again.
EMILY (my cousin): Wow, those must be some good drugs they've got you on.
LIZZY: Did someone call Kelly? I need to tell her I can't make it for tomorrow. We'll have to put work off for a day or two.
MUMSY: A day or two??!! I think it's a little more serious than that. You are about to go in for surgery. I don't think you need to be calling work at this moment.
LIZZY: My hand is completely numb. That's so odd. I can't even feel it.
MUMSY: Nurse! She can't feel her hand! Didn't you tell us to watch for that?
A nurse and a doctor rushed over at this point and moved my arm onto a board. I was only half with it I was so drugged. "Quick," they said, "We've got to straighten it before there is permanent damage!" And the nurse pinned my arm down while the doctor pulled it to straighten it. No drugs could dull that pain. I yelled, then relaxed, breathing heavy.
LIZZY: (whimpering) Where is Davey?
MUMSY: Snoogie (my brother), called him and left a message on his machine. D-Prime and Spaz went to Cambridge to get your pickup truck and chihuahuas. They will be back tonight. And your phone is going crazy but I don't think you should have it right now. Oh, and it's time for your surgery. See you after, honey.

Updates

A lot has occurred in my life, including one event that makes it very hard to type. But I will slowly get there.
I had my first student in August. Her name was Kelly. She was an awesome lady, and we got along even better than I had anticipated. She was an ideal student, very focused and intent on learning everything possible. She was intending to join her husband on the road and team drive. She even let me take time out to meet up with Davey, who I was falling more and more in love with, although he always claimed he was more committed and in love than I was, and she insisted on calling him my 'husband' as she said 'boyfriend' did not seem serious enough a term to cover our love and commitment to each other. It was odd, but sweet of her, and Davey liked her very much as well. Everything was going well, but this was all before everything started to fall apart around me.
With the weekend approaching, Kelly and I decided to take a few days off and meet up on Monday to go back to work. I was in great spirits, and rode my motorcycle up to my parents place on Saturday to visit. It was a lovely ride, and the weather was amazing. I woke Sunday, sent a message to Kelly to remind her what time to meet me Monday morning, and put on my riding gear and backpack to head out.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

It's Really More Difficult Than It Looks....Or Not.

I am at the company yard, just about to catch a few hours rest before heading out to New Brunswick at midnight tonight. I've had a very busy day, as I worked from 4am to 1pm and am squeezing in a ten hour break so I can head out at 11pm to my pick up. I was supposed to be sleeping this afternoon, but instead was feeling all ambitious and capable, so I went out and bought a microwave, a new (bigger) power inverter, and extension cords and proceeded to install the works all by my little self, into my transport truck. I even hid all the wiring and cords behind cupboards and under flooring so it would look perfect. No half-ass job here. Unfortunately, it came at the expense of my sleep, but as easy as the job was, feeling proud of myself is making up for it at the moment. And yes, I tested out the microwave, as I tend to question my dubious skills. And it worked! Of course I had to brag to Davey so I could get that all important pat on the back, and he obliged, as he always does.
I also was notified today that I will be getting my first student this coming week, which I'm finding I am really looking forward to and am already cleaning out my truck so she will have room for her things, as my truck is always bursting at the seams, with more useless things than I know what to do with. I constantly find things in here I never even knew I had. It's like Christmas.
Churfy got accepted to College in Detroit, for Large Animal Veterinary, which I am very happy and proud of, especially since it gives her something positive to focus on in the wake of her boyfriend's unfortunate mental meltdown, which I will probably write the next post about.
Davey and I are still going strong although we haven't seen each other in two and a half weeks, and I really miss him terribly. We have spent most of the last 3 days on the phone just talking non stop like we always do, and I always feel better when I hear his voice, but I wish he wasn't so far away. He always talks like I am his future, which I love and find adorable. He'll make comments about what we will be like when we are old, and tells me that if he can, he wants to keep me forever, so even if we are far away and it's hard right now, it will be worth it in the long run. And I like when he talks like that. I love him more all the time, and he has amazed me with how much care and love and support he gives me, and how he will put my feelings, needs and comfort before his own. I've never had someone who would do that for me. We are very quickly becoming best friends and I feel comfortable and safe talking to him, and confident that he will keep any secrets I tell him. I am keeping my fingers crossed that taking a chance, and breaking out of my comfort zone and loving someone will pay off, because I am crazy about him, and hope that he will stay, and keep me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Love Is InThe Air

It has been over a week since I wrote anything, so I will give a quick update.
I still have had no students, and am wondering when they will start to arrive, but it hasn’t bothered me as I rather like my peace and quiet, free of responsibility.
Last week I dropped my motorcycle for the second time. It was very frustrating. I’ve had it four years and never dropped it, and now I’ve done it twice in two weeks. This time I jumped clear, so instead of crushing my foot, it broke the left side mirror off, and the body was damaged much worse than the first time. Once again, back to Kristi and Russ’s shop, where it still is, waiting for me to pick it up, while barely avoiding Kristi’s happy trigger finger on the spray paint gun as she begs me to let her paint it all pink. Cause that’s just what I need. The only pink Interceptor in the city. The cops will never recognize me.
Davey and I had a heartfelt talk recently, in which I admitted that I while I couldn’t guarantee the depth of my love, I had indeed fallen in love with him much quicker than I ever thought possible, dispelling my concerns that I was broken emotionally and unable to love anyone. He was very happy and asked again if he could be mine. This time I said yes. It turns out we both felt something the day we met, and although neither of us believe in love at first sight, and don’t think that’s what it was, he said he thinks it’s as close to love at first sight as it is possible to be. So we are now officially a couple for the last few weeks although we met and got close back in April and May. Now we just talk more than ever, texting and calling each other every day, which we have found to be rather beneficial, as when you are not around each other the physical stuff doesn’t get in the way very much, and you spend all your time talking and getting to know the other person more as your best friend. I am very happy with him, and at this point, it just feels right. We fit well together and not surprisingly, since I am more into him than I ever been with a guy, all my other guy friends seem to be disappearing, and I don’t even care. He is thoughtful, stronger willed than me, protective and supportive, as well as being very loving. And even more recently, yes, I did break my nearly five years without sex, and while I hope it wasn’t too soon, I don’t feel bad about it, because he is my boyfriend, and I am in love, which is what I always said I would stick with as a rule. I will of course give no details other than to say it was so worth the wait, and he suits me perfectly. I do not know what the future holds, but I do know that he has every intention of me being his future, and told me. So at least, in spite of the concerns in my mind regarding being in a relationship at all, I still have managed to have the upper hand somehow. And that is a small comfort to me in the middle of my fear of the unknown. So I shall take my time, proceed carefully, and see what happens.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Sassy's Rude Awakening

Sassy and I arrived in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, and parked for the night at a Flying J truck stop to sleep as we had to deliver in York, Pa the following morning. Davey had called and said he was going right by where we were and if he got there at a reasonable time he would stop and see me. He arrived at three am. I let him into the truck while still half asleep, and he crawled into bed with me, kissed me goodnight, and I passed out on his shoulder. Sassy never woke up. In the morning a groggy Sassy peered down from the top bunk to say she was up, but all she saw was a half naked dude she didn’t recognize. She looked all shocked and raised her eyebrows, pointing emphatically at Davey who was still asleep. I chuckled. “It’s Davey. He got here at three in the morning.”
“Ohhhh, ok… It kinda freaked me out. I don’t remember anyone coming in and I’ve never met Davey so I had no idea who it was and to wake up with a strange guy in the truck just about scared me.”
Davey woke up and rolled over. “Davey, Sassy….Sassy, Davey.”
The two of them got along well. Davey acted like he was 12, and that suited Sassy just fine, although she harassed him so much that at one point he mouthed the words “a bit overwhelming” to me.
My truck had been having some issues with the voltage and the check engine light kept coming on, so Davey checked things for me. “I think you have a bad battery.” He said…”No, wait- they are all bad. You need to get to a shop before your truck decides to die.”
This was bad news, but at least we were very near a Volvo dealership, so we booked the truck into the shop and the company paid for our hotel with a pool. Davey stayed that night too, and Sassy and him got into a silly argument about who was tougher, and Sassy ended up getting unceremoniously thrown into the pool. She was a good sport about it and we ended the evening with pizza. So our week ended up being rather short and not much work was done, but we did manage to relax and spend a lot of time together.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Sassy's First Trip

This week was different in some good ways, and some bad ways. I talked Mumsy into letting my youngest sister, Sassy, who is 14, come with me in the truck. We got to my hometown the day before we had to work, and decided to ignore the phone calls from Mumsy who was considering driving the three hours to where we were to take Sassy home. Instead, we went for a motorcycle ride. We got our gear on and met Kristi at her shop. As we were preparing to leave, I rolled my bike up beside Kristi's and parked, except somehow I got the bike a bit off balance and the weight was too much much for me. In slow motion, struggling to hold the beast up, I dropped it. All 460lbs of it. On my foot. Kristi and Sassy rushed over to help me pick it up, as my ankle and foot were pinned under it. I was bummed. I had bent my clutch lever and scratched the left side fairing. My beautiful bike had an ugly scar. Russ came over to help out by kicking me while I was down, making fun of me mercilessly.
“Aw, don’t worry, hun,” said Kristi. “Look at the bright side. I’ll keep it here and fix it for you and it’ll be as good as new by the time you come home next weekend. And you know it’s free of charge for you. We can just wet sand that and get new levers. It’ll be ok.”
Thank goodness for Kristi. She had me feeling better in no time, although my swollen and purple foot was beyond her expertise. But I don’t think I broke anything, so it could have been worse.
The next day we headed out to work, and although Sassy and I talked and laughed for the first while, she soon became bored of the driving and spent most of her time plugged in, either to my Ipod or watching movies. Every once in a while I would make use of her, as she quickly figured out how to do the paperwork, so I left that to her. She was also excellent at taking care of sending all the messages back and forth on the Qualcomm, (satellite computer), and helped a lot at keeping everything running smoothly.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Overworked, Overbooked and Loving it.

Things have been very busy lately. I have finished my testing and training to become a driver trainer for my company, and should be getting my first student within a week or so, depending on my schedule and what is convenient for me. As much as I have some reservations about whether or not I will enjoy my new position, I really am looking forward to trying something new and getting a student.
As far as updates on my personal/love life, I ended things with Ryan before they hardly began. It just wasn’t going to work. I told him that I could be friends with him, but a relationship just wouldn’t be possible. There was next to no chemistry, and as mean as this sounds, I don’t want to date a guy that’s less man than I am. Combined with the giant warning flags I previously mentioned, and my tendency to send every man packing within a few months, it just wasn’t going to happen. He was upset, but I let him down as gently as I could, and am now ignoring e-mails asking for further clarification of my reasons for ditching him.
Kristi and I rode down to the motorcycle races in Cayuga one day on the weekend, which was a tiny bit awkward as Ryan was racing, and I spent all my time with Ninja who was also there. He was very happy I came, even though it was not for his sake, and was telling me about his races the previous day, and how he didn’t win. I know he can ride well, so when he said he didn’t know what he was doing wrong, and how to get a bit more speed, I responded with, “Well, maybe you should drive a little faster. Just twist it.” He laughed and said that I make everything sound so much more simple than it really is. I shrugged. “Maybe everything is more simple than people would like to think.”
Ninja won the race that day. By a long shot. So of course like any good friend, I tried to take all the credit, since clearly me telling him to drive faster is why he won.
It has been great having Kristi to ride with as I would way rather ride with her than any of the guys. Because honestly, what guy wants to ride to a nail salon to get his nails done and his eyebrows threaded? She just understands me so much better.
I saw Davey not long ago. I did not run from him as I probably should have. We talk and text every day and have gotten to be quite good friends. He has always been very complimentary and warm towards me so it came as no surprise when he told me he loved me. It just kind of slipped out. He said he wouldn’t apologize because it had just felt natural to say it and he wasn’t going to deny anything. It was over the phone, not in person, so at this point I laid everything out for him, and told him he is likely to get burned if he truly loves me, and was brutally honest about the fact that I seem to go through one guy after another- two or three months in they tell me they love me and I either get cold feet or feel I could never return their feelings so at that point I ditch them fast, in a ‘it was nice knowing you’, kind of way.
He asked if I meant this was goodbye? I said we were treading on thin ice, but I wasn’t quite ready to cut him loose just yet. I told him I was sure it was just an infatuation and that it would pass, and I could give him no encouragement whatsoever. Cruel, I know, but isn’t honesty the best policy? He responded that it really was love and that maybe I was a poor choice if he wished to guard his emotions, but he was prepared to take that chance, and would be there until such a time as I chose to be rid of him. He said I was different from anyone he’s ever known and that I have some kind of unexplainable invisible hold on him. Rash, I thought, but it was his choice. He has since asked if he could be mine, and I have said no, I am claiming nothing. I just have a nagging feeling it would never work, in spite of the fact that I have more chemistry with him than I think I have ever had with anyone and it is all I can do to not sleep with him. For that reason it is probably good that we don’t live closer to each other. When I saw him a couple weeks ago, we spent the night together, although we didn’t sleep at all, and my self control almost deserted me. It just feels so comfortable and good to be in his arms, and he pulls at my heartstrings like no one has in a long time. We were cuddling and making out and he just took my face in his hands, looked into my eyes and said, “We can’t sleep together. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it.”
The promise he is referring to is from a while ago, when I told him that I only intended to sleep with my boyfriend, if I was in love with him. He said he would not ask me for anything physically and that since he was not my boyfriend, and I was not in love, he would not compromise my standards, morals, or feelings, and therefore would not sleep with me. I didn’t really believe a guy would stick to such a thing, but he has not only stuck to it, he has reminded me not to cross my own lines. Of course, predictably, this only makes me like him more. I think I need to work harder on my Ice Queen routine before I let him in too much. I don’t want to get too involved, as staying cold has always let me keep the upper hand and end things abruptly with no emotional discomfort.
So here I am, on my way home from Iowa, with a boy’s heart in my incapable hands once again, a family birthday party to attend and Churfy on crutches after a horse accident left her with amnesia, a concussion and a fractured foot. She is returning from Alberta next weekend, at which time I will be picking her up from the airport, babying her and spoiling her rotten.
The remainder of this weekend I will be spending with Davey in Detroit, and hopefully riding my motorcycle.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Poker Face

It is all a game. A very addictive game, I am starting to think. I intended to weed some of the men out of my life as I gravitated towards Ryan, but I hit a bump, and everything was derailed in a very short amount of time. First things first. Ryan and I have been seeing a lot of each other and I was fully enjoying getting to know him without the added pressure of sex, since we agreed to not do that for the time being, and focus on forming a real and solid friendship based on personality and character, not bedroom skills. Unfortunately this enabled me to have my eyes wide open to the good, the bad and the ugly. The Good: He is sweet, thoughtful and caring and puts no pressure on me physically. Plus, he likes to cuddle. The Bad: Something doesn’t sit quite right, and he let me in on things lately that explain a lot. I am not sure yet whether it is all negative, but it most certainly isn’t positive, unless you consider it positive that he trusted me and let me in. The Ugly: The bad doesn’t even need to be mentioned since it was eclipsed by the ugly. Allow me to explain what set off the warning flags. We were having lunch and I was telling him stuff about work, which he had asked about. In the middle of me talking, he pipes up with, “To be honest you are kind of rambling on. Maybe you could get to the point?” (Don’t quote this as being verbatim, but it’s very close.) To which I replied that I thought we were just having a conversation and wasn’t aware I needed to make a point.
“Well, I think if you are going to talk, you should have a point.”
Point taken. The party was over. I became a bit down and quiet, for fear I might (heaven forbid) open my mouth and fail to make a point. But I let it go. Till the next day. We were driving in his car and I was telling him a silly story about Churfy and I, and granted, I may have been a tad bit animated. He reached over, put his hand over my mouth and said, “Shh, shh. You’re getting too wired.”
A bit taken aback, I sat in silence for the rest of the ride. He hadn’t even let me finish my story. After 5 years of blatant independence, I am not going to let someone shush me, put me down or control me. He should know that. But then maybe not, as I had become docile and allowed him to walk on me. The next morning I was leaving for California, and avoided his kiss goodbye. He asked what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong, and I had to get going.
He texted me on his way to work, to ask if we could talk, but I didn’t hear my phone…. even when he tried to call multiple times. For real. So his next text said he was concerned and felt like maybe he wasn’t going to see me again, and to please get in touch and talk to him asap so he could stop worrying. I told him I would talk to him, but it wasn’t going to be via text as that was too impersonal. I ended up not leaving till the next morning, so we were going to try to meet up, but it didn’t work out. He dropped the ball completely and ended up not seeing me or talking to me that night even though he supposedly was making it a priority. Such a priority, in fact, that he stayed out till after midnight on a work night doing god knows what. And I really don’t buy that he was with who he said he was with. But I don’t care. What will be, will be. I went to Ninja’s house instead, and said hello and goodbye to him, but couldn’t bring myself to stay the night as he asked, because I don’t want to be doing anything inappropriate. But it reminded me how solid and non-flaky Ninja is.
So this week Ryan and I have been talking off and on. He is saying he misses me and really wants to see me, and is ok with being in the doghouse till I get back and talk to him about what is on my mind. Thing is, is it worth talking about? If it’s a lame mistake, yeah, but if it’s a pattern of controlling behavior, I’m not naïve enough to think I can influence or fix that in any way. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see how talking about it turns out. I could get my answer right then.
Back off Ryan, talk to Steve, fend off amorous advances from Davey and ….Pansy? Back to too many men! Pansy is manageable. He’s been texting a lot from his new abode WAY the hell up north, which I chalk up to the effects of solitary confinement. It can make anyone crazy. His latest is a million compliments followed by begging and pleading for naked pictures. “Sorry,” I say, “You know I have a no picture policy. Go watch some Eskimo porn and leave me alone.” Case dismissed. Easy enough.
Davey on the other hand is totally my type, which is exactly the type I should stay away from. I know from previous experience it doesn’t work. He’s from Tennessee- a bad boy. Tattooed, ear rings, eyebrow stud and a sexy, manly scar on his face. Plus he’s aggressive and protective. All features I love, that make him a horrible prospect. I know I can’t date him. But he targets all my weaknesses. He doesn’t know that, it’s just the way it is. And today he told me he really likes me a lot and wants me to think well of him, told me he misses me and just wants to hold me, and called me baby and sweet heart. I have never even hugged him, since it is rare that he’s been around and I knew I needed to keep my distance. He is saying everything I want to hear constantly these days, and it’s so tough to fight it, but I know I have to. Must not think about…..oh God, who am I kidding? I can’t do this. I need to run for the hills.
I was trying to explain my situation to Churfy this evening.
LIZZY: I think I play my men like a poker hand- I have a full house and I just keep bluffing.
CHURFY: Oh god, You’re like the female version of a ‘player’, minus the sleeping around. What are you gonna do when you meet a really nice guy and you don’t wanna play him?
LIZZY: If he’s awesome, I guess I’ll fold.
Or will I? I thought that I was ready to find a nice guy, and settle into having a boyfriend. I hate to admit this, and maybe there is something wrong with me, but the more men I have around, flattering me and catering to my every whim, the more addictive it becomes. How can I choose just one? Can I really settle down and be content? I would like to think so, and especially for a girl like me, you would think that I would want to settle down since I refuse to sleep with a guy that’s not my boyfriend, and having hot guys around that I can’t/won’t sleep with does get old. And is it really fair to toy with their feelings, even if I’m not in bed with them? I always thought not being physical made it ok, but now I’m starting to wonder, as emotions seem to crop up on their sides in spite of my strict rules. While I don’t think it’s despicable, odds are that if you want to date me or you start to fall for me, you are going to get played. I think I need to change that before it becomes an ingrained habit.

Out With The Old, In With The New

I have been back to work for about six days, and it has been a whirlwind of events. I will bring you up to speed briefly.
Right before my week off, I had gotten a message saying my truck needed to go off lease and there was a new truck waiting at the yard for me to move into. I asked what type of truck it was, and was told it was a Freightliner. I hate Freightliners. They are called ‘Freightshakers’ for a reason. I fired off a message to Randy, my amazing and supportive Driver Manager.
LIZZY: Randy, please say it isn’t true!! I don’t want a freightliner! I hate them!
RANDY: Afraid so, dear. It’s already here waiting for you.
LIZZY: NOOO!!!! I will throw a temper tantrum! I will picket in front of the office! PLEEEEAAASE!!! I really, really, really am not happy about this! I want a Volvo!
RANDY: Sorry dear, we have none right now.
LIZZY: I am so not happy right now.
RANDY: Tell you what. I’ll let you keep your truck for another week and see if I can find you a more suitable replacement. (Read: Volvo. Fingers crossed)
LIZZY: Thank you!
At the end of the week when I went back to work, Randy handed me the keys to my shiny new Volvo, complete with full fairings and shore power. (Full electrical supply plug- ins) I was ecstatic. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Randy!! I don’t know what I would do without you! You’re the best!” And the boys always ask if I get preferred treatment because I’m female…..psh, of course not!!!
I was also told to see Dan in Safety that morning. I went in nervous, as being called in is generally not a good thing.
DAN: Have a seat. Do you know why you are here?
LIZZY: No.
DAN: Did you think you were in trouble?
LIZZY: Um, yeah. Kind of.
DAN: Relax. You’re not. I have had very high recommendations and reports of you from several sources, and have looked into your records myself, and found them to be surprisingly clear of any concerns or problems. Which is why I would like to ask you if you would consider becoming an on-road driver trainer for Challenger. We will put you through some testing and courses, and then you will be taking students with you on the road to train and evaluate them. Is this something you’d be interested in?
LIZZY: Maybe. What’s in it for me?
DAN: A big fat raise.
LIZZY: Sign me up!
Ok, those last couple lines were ad-lib….they were actually more diplomatic than that, but that was the gist of it in layman’s terms. I headed happily off to California, with the new position awaiting my return. I’m not sure how I will like it, so I only agreed to do it for a few months on a trial basis, but I’m excited to try something new and the extra pay doesn’t look so bad either, as when I have a student I will earn 25-30 % more than I currently do. No complaints there.

The Boy In Question

My time off started yesterday, and I’m very happy to be home as I have been very sick for the last 4 days and really needed to relax and feel better.
Kristi had asked me to spend time with her when I got home, so I agreed to go out for supper with her last night. She is a mutual friend of mine and Ryan’s. Yesterday afternoon he texted that he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me, and I kind of felt the same. An hour later he texted again.
RYAN: Kristi just asked me if I knew my chickie was home, and said she’s having dinner with you. What the hell?
LIZZY: Well, it’s not my fault she asked me out first.
RYAN: I thought we had plans?
LIZZY: We did?? I don’t remember making any. When did you ask?
RYAN: I said I couldn’t wait to see you…..
Oh, right….I forgot. To males this is considered making plans. To women this is nothing more than a vague comment. Silly me. Should have known…
LIZZY: Well, I’m not backing out on Kristi. Maybe I can see you later.
RYAN: Ok, let me know.

About an hour later, I got a text from Kristi.
KRISTI: I got a text from Ryan. He says to back off, he wants you tonight. Lol.
LIZZY: Silly boy. I will see him later.
KRISTI: Well, you can go out with Ryan. I’m suddenly not feeling well.
LIZZY: That’s suspicious. You sure?
KRISTI: Yeah. You’d have more fun with me. Let’s do dinner tomorrow. Ryan’s a bitch.
LIZZY: Ok, hun. See you tomorrow.

So I went out with Ryan for dinner, and he again brought up the subject of where things were going between us.
RYAN: So, I know I’ve brought this up before, but I’m just wondering if you are any more clear on where you see things going between us?
LIZZY: Wow, you know, this is a really awkward subject for me, and to be honest I don’t really know. I’m still getting to know you.
RYAN: It’s not that I want to rush you, but I don’t want to hide anything from you, and so I may as well tell you I was seeing someone when I met you. It wasn’t anything serious….kind of new, but when I started hanging out with you it made me rethink everything, and I realized you had all my attention.
LIZZY: (with a slight uncomfortable smile) Oh, so basically I won?
RYAN: (chuckles awkwardly) I guess you could say that. Anyway, I kind of just left the girl hanging. I suppose I will tell her it just isn’t going to work.
LIZZY: Why? Is she your back up plan in case I said I didn’t want you? That’s so comforting.
RYAN: Uh, no….not really. Huh….maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up. Sorry. Forget I said anything. Maybe this isn’t the best time.
LIZZY: I’m sorry I can’t give you the answer you are looking for, but I can’t make your decisions for you. You do whatever you feel you need or want to do. I am not going to put pressure on anyone, nor will I be pressured. I want to take things slow and know I am making the right decisions.
RYAN: Yeah, I guess that’s the best. Sorry I brought this up. I just wanted to be honest with you.
LIZZY: Thank you.

I stayed at Ryan’s a few times this week. We rode our motorcycles together and with Kristi and Russ, although there was a lot of tension between Kristi and Ryan, as they got in a fight and she is not speaking to him because she feels he is monopolizing my time and trying to keep me away from her. They spent most of their time accusing each other of being bitches, so I minimized conflict by splitting my time and not being around both of them together. I think Ryan started it, but he wanted to bury the hatchet, and Kristi was not co-operating. But aside from that, all is going well, and Ryan even babysat the Chihuahuas so I could go out for the evening with Kristi. It was a very busy week off, but I got a lot done and thoroughly enjoyed myself, even going dirt-biking with Russ, and swapping motorcycles with a co-worker so I could try out his zx-12. It was a powerful and fast bike. A good way to round out an excellent week.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Murphy's Field Day

The last 24 hours, I think everything that could go wrong, did. You just have those days you think maybe you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed, and this was one of them. I drove to Ringgold, Virginia, for my pick up which should have been quick. I dropped my empty trailer and tried to pick up the loaded one. It had been dropped way too high, which meant I needed to crank the landing gear down to lower the trailer. But it was very heavy and I could barely turn the handle, so it took me about half an hour of struggling and sweating in the southern heat to get it to where it needed to be. It was all good now….or not. As I backed under the trailer, it simply rolled backwards and I couldn’t back under it far enough to connect. The brakes didn’t seem to be working properly. I decided to connect the airlines and supply air to the brake system as I backed under, as this should have helped, but it didn’t. The trailer still rolled. It had no brakes at all. I contacted dispatch and they called a repairman to come out. I was hot and sweaty and felt horribly grimy and desperately wanted a shower. I asked the shipper if it was ok with them if I went to get a shower and they could tell the repairman what to do when he arrived. It was not a problem for them, so off I went. I felt so much better as I walked back to my truck, gloriously clean and smelling more like a girl and less like a trucker. I had an urgent message on the satellite computer in my truck. “Where are you? The mechanic is onsite and can’t find you.”
I rushed back to the shipper but he was gone. They said they let him in the gate, but he had not come inside or talked to anyone, just left. I knew this would come back on me. I called dispatch and asked them to send the mechanic back. They tried. He refused, and said he had no time. He would come tomorrow. But the load had to be delivered tomorrow, and it was for a big important customer. They contacted a different repair company and sent someone out. By the time he arrived and fixed the trailer, I could never make it to the delivery on time, so they decided to have me switch with another driver in Pennsylvania.
I headed out in the morning. Never have I ever gotten so many messages in a day. I was hit with a barrage of them, and of course they were all extremely urgent.
“Lizzy, it’s Randy. I need an eta to Pennsylvania asap”
“Lizzy, it’s Trish. Did you set up an appointment for your F.A.S.T. card reapplication interview? It’s very important. Please respond asap.”
“Lizzy, its Dave. Please come see me in the safety department when you get back to Cambridge.”
“Lizzy, it’s Randy again. I need you to fax me the paperwork for the last load, ASAP!! This is very urgent.”
I couldn’t even answer them as fast as they were coming in. So as I walking to the fax machine, papers in hand, I was also on the phone with Customs, setting up my interview for the F.A.S.T. card, while figuring out my arrival to Waverly Pennsylania. Of course the fax machine wasn’t working. Try another place. Theirs was broken too. Third time is the charm. I was getting stressed. Deep breath. One thing at a time. It’s work, it’s nothing personal. Knock things off the list one at a time.
Finally I was back on the road again to my meeting with the other driver. I pulled into the lot in Waverly, and the other driver was waiting for me. He got out of his truck and raised his eyebrows. “Woah, I didn’t realize you would be a girl.”
“That’s probably because I don’t go out of my way to tell people I’m female. Here’s your paperwork.”
“You single?”
Grrr. “As in, do I drive solo, or am I boyfriendless?”
“Hehe…..either, I guess.”
He was trashy looking with rotten teeth. And creepy. “I drive solo, but I have a boyfriend. We’re very in love.” (That was a lie.)
“Oh, that’s cool.” He was very jittery, and told me it was because he desperately needed a smoke, and proceeded to bum five bucks off me for cigarettes even though it hadn’t even been a week since payday. I sighed. I wasn’t gonna fight anything more today. I gave it to him, while thinking, ‘Why the hell am I paying for someone else’s smokes? I don’t even smoke! And how bottom of the barrel is that? Bumming money off female co-workers?!’
A phone call from Randy. “Lizzy, you faxed me the wrong paperwork. I need the one with the customers signatures on it.”
“Oh, crap. I don’t have it. I accidentally kept the one without the signatures. Sorry.”
He sighed. “Ok, well, if you don’t have it, you don’t have it.”
“Sorry Randy. Everything is going wrong the last day or two.”
“Uh huh. And it’s all coming back on you and me, girl.”
Smarter Lizzy, smarter. Get your head out of the clouds and stop making mistakes. Mind on the job. Think things through. I know this is no one’s fault but mine. I’m not used to that. Things will be better tomorrow.

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

If there’s anywhere I’ve been that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, I’d have to say it is the whole Memphis area. If you wonder why, read the post titled “Hell is alive and well in Mississippi”, which took place on the outskirts of the south side of Memphis, on the Mississippi side of the line.
I had a delivery in West Memphis, and arrived the evening previous to my appointment, so I thought I would just park nearby, sleep and deliver in the morning. I admit, the neighborhood made up for in “hood”, what it was lacking in “neighbor”, but I was thinking all of Memphis looked run down to me, so how bad could it be? I hid my truck out of sight behind an abandoned warehouse, and decided to take the dogs out to pee and check how bad/good the area might be. And this is how I found myself the only white person to be seen, walking two Chihuahuas, none the less, down a street where everyone stared at me like I did NOT belong. I was wary, but walked a couple of blocks. An African-American lady was approaching me and gave a slight smile as she said, “I like your dogs”.
“Huh?” I replied. I didn’t catch a word, being transfixed by her garish purple eye makeup, wondering where I had seen that metallic color before. On a low-rider in Mexican town, perhaps? Ah, that was it.
“I said I like your dogs.”
“Oh, thank you,” I answered as I continued, passing a side street from which a very high and/or drugged up man came twirling around in circles clutching a little bundle of belongings under one arm. He seemed not to notice me at all, almost twirling into me as I sidestepped and put some distance between us. At this point I decided to find somewhere else to spend the night, and turned to head back. A guy on a sportbike rode past very slowly, staring creepily all the way, and as I looked back at him, I saw a handgun tucked in the back of his pants. Concerned, I sped up. Passing the last side street before my truck, I noticed about 5 or 6 African-American men approaching. They were whistling and calling to me…..”Where are you going so fast, sweetheart?”, “She’s sleeping in MY bed tonight”, “Come back , baby”.
At least half of them were carrying handguns, and made no attempt to hide it. I took a quick right, leaped into my truck, locked the doors and drove away as fast as I could. As I entered the nearest truck stop, one of the truckers said over the CB radio, “Wow, look at (insert my trucking company’s name)! That bitch needs the ‘fine’ fucking slapped out of her.”
The truckstop was looking no better than where I had come from. A young, rather redneck guy that was parked next to me, rolled his window down and said, “Turn your radio off, girl. You shouldn’t have to hear these guys talking about you. I’ll be here all night. I’ll keep my eye on you. You’ll be ok. You let me know if you need anything. I don’t want you walking to the building alone at night.”
“Thank you, “ I said, thinking maybe it was better to let one stranger help me than try to trust 150 disgusting men. It panned out. Donny was very respectful and polite, and did indeed walk me inside every time I needed to go, and didn’t let me out of his sight. While I was wary of him, I do think I slept a little better knowing he was right there.
On a side note, I discovered that as I was cleaning my truck that day, I had accidently reversed the plug for my fridge, which turns it into a heater, and therefore all my food was cooked. Even my milk and yogurt. I was very disappointed. It was a sad moment.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Flashback #4- The Wildlife Just Looks Innocent, May, 2009

Believe it or not, myself and my chihuahuas were chased down by a deer. I thought we were going to be seriously injured, but escaped intact. I know you may think I'm being a drama queen, but I am telling the truth. I never thought a deer could be in the least aggressive. I thought they were shy and always run away. We were in Montana, and I decided to go for a nice long walk out in the country down a quiet, deserted road. We had gotten fairly far and Mooshie was off his leash running around when we came towards the top of a large hill, and I saw a deer watching us from a distance. I grabbed Mooshie and put him on his leash so as not to scare the deer, and was thinking how nice it was to be out away from the city where you could actually see wildlife. He never moved as we passed and headed down the hill, so once we were out of sight I let Mooshie off to go play again. He ran out into the field to check out the prairie dog holes, while Plushy stayed right by my feet, like she always does. As he got farther from me, I noticed the deer had come to the top of the hill, and was looking down at Mooshie, and I wondered if he was curious, or maybe just making sure we were leaving. But then he took a few steps towards Mooshie and was watching him intently, although Mooshie had not noticed him yet. I began to get worried and called Mooshie's name. He stopped and looked up at me, and at that moment the deer went dashing down the hill straight for him. I panicked and started screaming, "Mooshie, come!" He then saw the deer and started towards me, but was looking over his shoulder at the approaching deer and therefore not moving quick enough. The deer caught up to him and ran right down on top of him, trying to trample him with his hooves, but Mooshie is small and fast, and zig zagged, so the deer missed. By this time I am screaming at him "Come Mooshie!!! Hurry baby, faster!" and he was now running straight for me with all he's got, while the deer ran repeatedly over top of him, trying to trample him. Mooshie was so scared and zig zagged all the way to me, dodging the flying hooves, and I ran towards him with my arms outstretched, scooping him up at the last minute and cradling him in my arms. I thought the deer would never come near me, but as I held Mooshie, the deer stopped abruptly only about 4 feet from me and reared up on his hind legs, striking out at us with his front feet. Still thinking the deer would be scared of me, and being upset over the close call my poor puppy just had, I rushed towards him and yelled "Go away!! Get out of here!" waving my arm towards him, but he did not even back off, he just tried to strike me again, and I jumped back, just shy of his hooves. By this time I got a little afraid and felt rather alone and small in front of this large animal, and clutching my chihuahua, and with Plushy still by my heels barking furiously, I tried to back away slowly, and get away from the deer, but he blocked my escape. All the hair on his back and neck stood straight up, and he ran circles around me looking very tense and aggressive, just out of arms reach, pausing a few times to rear up again and try to hit me. Not knowing what else to do, I continued to back up very slowly, but I knew it was a long way to my truck, and every time I turned my back to him, he rushed at me from behind. It seemed that when we were all together he would only come just out of reach, but he kept attempting to separate us. So I continued this way for a while, walking backwards slowly and trying not to let him see that I was afraid. When we had gone about 20 minutes like this, he gradually got farther away from us and let us go, but was watching us and following us at a distance the rest of the way back to the truck. So we were ok, but it just left me completely confused as to why a deer would do such a thing? I was shocked to think deer would ever behave in that manner. They usually run away, and that's all I ever thought they would do. So much for cute furry wildlife. Oh, and when in Montana- beware the deer!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Late Night News.

Just some quick updates. Monster Jam was great. Churfy got herself a new boyfriend, (well not brand spanking new, but you know...) so he came with us to Monster Jam. He seems to be a great improvement over the previous model, and neither of us tried to kill each other, so things are looking good. I don't mind the schmoozing, but payback's a bitch, so as soon as I get a man they need to be prepared to be incredibly grossed out. Just saying.
Dprime popped the question, so him and Spaz are planning to get married in October. Apparently I'm an "honorary bridesmaid" whatever that means exactly and as such have received a message from a complete stranger basically telling me to get my act together because we are planning a smashing stag and doe for Dprime and Spaz in July. Thank God I've got time. I haven't the foggiest clue how to go about such a thing, so I'm hoping this "Jeff" character knows what's going on. I may be clueless, but it all still sounds so exciting! Keeping my fingers crossed that we can rastle up the biggest party ever seen for those two.
I just got off the phone with Ryan. He was racing his motorcycle today, and I guess wishing him luck was doom, because he crashed and hurt his leg pretty badly and has to go get x-rays. He can barely walk and is pretty miserable. And I don't think me making fun of him really helped as much as I thought it would. Who knew? And of course, I am all the way in New Brunswick, a mere 1,050 miles from him, so I don't think I was much comfort. I just told him to keep his leg up on a pillow and stay put. Yeah, I'm a genius.
I will post updates on all this breaking news when I get a chance. Over and out. (More accurately, bed is looking pretty awesome right now.)

I Need To Go Back To Work.....Where I Can Relax

It was such a hectic week off, but I am back at work now where I can relax, so I shall bring you up to speed on where things stand with my men.
LADA: Not talking at all. I think this is mutual, and I’m ok with it.
PANSY: Currently being ignored. This is not going to change.
NINJA: I believe he is becoming a bit too emotionally attached very quickly, as he texts multiple times a day and sometimes asks if he can call me as well, and admits to missing me frequently. I kind of don’t blame him as I may have inadvertently kick started this by sleeping at his place three times last week. To all you people reading stuff into this……ONLY sleeping. We have kissed and cuddled, and that is the extent of it. Meanwhile, I have tried to put the brakes on there, as someone unexpected is on the scene. Enter Ryan, previously barely mentioned.
RYAN: Odd as this is, I am struggling right now with how I feel towards Ryan, and here is why. As mentioned in a previous post, we ride together on our motorcycles, weather permitting, but it never left much time for talking as we were merely riding buddies, although I do admit I always make him lead, as the view is better that way. On one of our recent rides, he took me up to Elora Gorge, a huge ravine with a river running through it. We sat at the top, admired the view and talked for an hour and a half, which is more than we had ever talked. I already knew he was a nice guy, but was pleasantly surprised to find myself more comfortable and at ease around him than I’ve been with anyone in a long time. He talks a lot, which is great, but it means we never shut up. Somehow he ended up asking me what I was looking for in a guy, and it wasn’t even hard to answer. I’m for some reason not shy with him at all. I also was pleased that we see eye to eye on almost everything we’ve talked about up to this point, especially our desire to never have children. (I know, we covered practically everything…) So the next few days we kept riding together, until Sunday when Ryan was at the racetrack all day (he races motorcycles as well), and got back a bit late and was too cold and tired to go riding. I figured we’d just skip it, but I got a phone call from him. A bit shy, he said “You know, there’s more to do than just ride bikes. Not that I don’t like riding with you, it’s just I’m saying I would like to take you on a date.” Purely platonic no more…..I said yes. We didn’t do anything extravagant, just went and played pool and talked like crazy. As I said…we never shut up. We laughed and played and made fun of each other. At one point I leaned over the pool table to make a shot and he whistled at me. I blushed, and laughed and couldn’t make the shot, which I think was the whole point. He was pretty amused. It was a great evening. Too great. If I don’t watch it, I could fall for him fast.
I talked to Churfy about it and she said, “He wanted to kiss you. I bet he does.”
“I don’t know about that. We are just friends.”
“Uh huh. When are you seeing him? Tomorrow night again? I will put money on it that he is going to kiss you.”
She was right. Somehow we managed to get on the topic of getting married (!) and he said, “If we ever get married, we are going to elope, get married on a beach and tell our families when we get home.”
I laughed. “Sounds perfect. It’s a deal.”
He went to hug me goodbye and just looked into my eyes for a second, and then he kissed me. (You win, Churfy, what do I owe you?) He hugged me so tight like he didn’t want to let go, and I liked it. Bad me. He didn’t want me to leave, he said. Funny, cause I didn’t want to leave either. But I had to. I told him I would miss his cute self but I would be back soon.
“Good,” he said, “Because we need to start going on real dates. I want to take you out more. Will you go for dinner with me when you come back?”
I tried to stifle a “Hell, yeah!!”, and went with a more subdued “Sure, I'll think about it,” accompanied by a shoulder shrug.
Talk about adding to my confusion though. I’ve never been the type to play men, and I’m not going to start now, but this has all been so sudden and unexpected, and now I don’t know what to do. Churfy delved into the depths of Native American wisdom, (ie…our native friend Kitty), and came up with, “You can’t push a river.”
That about sums it up.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Too Many Men

The last few days have been absolutely packed…..with men. I’ve just been realizing how I have a ridiculous number of guy friends compared to girl friends, since I have spent the last 3 days making sure (or trying to make sure) that none of them cross paths. Things between Lada and I have cooled off considerably, although we still text nearly every day. Mostly just random bits of info to make sure the other is still there. If I ignore him, he will text till I answer.
Ninja had been texting a lot, e-mailing and what not. I have been getting the impression that he is really into me, but at the same time, he is so not my usual type. He is Mr. Perfect. He races motorcycles as a hobby, which is very cool. He is a real gentleman and the most respectful of all my guy friends. I feel safe and secure around him. He doesn’t seem selfish or forward in any way, and I’m used to spending most of my time demanding that my guy friends back off. And I know myself….I usually go for the most unsuitable bad boys. Maybe because I am adventurous and they are never boring? I really don’t know for sure why.
Anyway, when I came home he took me out for supper and to a movie. A very traditional date. I don’t even remember the last time I did that. It was relaxing. We have seen each other three days in a row. He made supper for me last night, which was amazing. I don’t get home cooked food very often. He also changed the oil on my motorcycle for me, which I wasn’t expecting. We watched a movie and he asked me to stay the night, promising to be a gentleman. And he was. He hasn’t even tried to kiss me. How cool is that? Not that I wouldn’t want him to, just that I am happy waiting because it just shows how careful and sincere he is. I feel at ease with him.
Yesterday Pansy took me flying. He just got his instructor rating, so he gave me a lesson, which was great. I flew almost the whole thing myself, in the pilot’s seat, and he is really good at explaining how to do things. So he had me practicing attitudes and banks. Then he took the controls and scared me to death, while I was saying, “please don’t make me sick….”. We had a great time, like the good friends we are and have been, until we got to the awkward conversation….

PANSY: I want to spend more time with you before I leave town.
LIZZY: I’m really busy.
PANSY: You don’t understand. I wasn’t lying that time I said I loved you.
LIZZY: You were drunk. Let’s chalk it up to alcohol.
PANSY: I’m gonna miss you so much.
LIZZY: Not like you are dropping off the face of the earth, Pansy. You know how to get ahold of me.
PANSY: It’s just I was always so awkward around you at first because you were intimidating.
LIZZY: Why? Cause I’m masculine? (laughing)
PANSY: No, because you are such a pretty girl. But then we became friends and I got comfortable around you, and the thing is, you are exactly the kind of girl I want to marry some day. But I never wanted to try to start something with you because I knew I would be leaving.
LIZZY: Don’t play head games with me, Pansy. It’s very convenient that you are saying all this right before leaving town.
PANSY: It’s not convenient. It’s my last chance.
LIZZY: Next thing I know you’ll be saying we should run off and get married in Vegas….. (laughs)
PANSY: I would if I thought you would do it.
LIZZY: Huh, weird. Do you realize that when I was 20, you were just turning 13? Do you know what they do with pedophiles, Pansy? They put them in jail.
PANSY: That’s not even a valid argument.
LIZZY: But you get my point. We were meant to be friends. That is all.

So Pansy left, and I hope I wasn’t too mean, but I just want to be honest and not play games or lead people on. And I am ignoring him a bit. He is just too persistent.
After that, I met up with my friend Ryan and went for about an hour long motorcycle ride out in the country with him leading the way. We didn’t get to talk much, but it’s ok. It was about riding and enjoying the scenery, not chatting. And then off to buy some oil for the bike and to Ninja’s for supper. The thing is, I don’t want to have a ton of guys on standby, I just want my friends to be my friends, without leading them on. But it’s hard because it seems they always want it to go somewhere, and in most cases it’s not hard to figure out where they want it to go, and you can feel free to read between the lines there. I am heading to my sister’s place tomorrow for a few days of great company and tons of laughing and being goofy. We are also going to Monster Jam on Saturday in Detroit. I can’t wait!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Who Let the Crazies Out?

I was up too late last night, chatting online with friends….catching up on news, getting grilled about my sanity by Ninja. I did my best to convince him that I really truly am sane, and that he takes an unnecessarily skeptical view of a trucker’s mental state.
So I got up early and headed out on the road. Part way through the day, I stopped at a rest area to use the bathroom and eat my lunch. As I was coming back to my truck, I was intercepted by a rather odd looking, weather beaten woman who apparently was also a truck driver and parked next to me. She wanted to show me her Chihuahua, which was adorable, and asked how long I’d been driving. I told her five and a half years, and she seemed surprised and told me it was her first week on the job, and proceeded to pretty much tell me her life story. She was a widow, she said, going in a new direction. I told her I was sorry for her loss. She went on to tell me how she had all these weird visions of numbers, and people would just appear and disappear, and perhaps they were angels. And the new world order is rising, and muslims are taking over the world, and there are going to be more and more people like her, banding together for the greater good. The following conversation went something like this: (for simplicity I shall call her BC, for Basket Case)

BC: Do you believe in God?
LIZZY: Yes, I do.
BC: (tearing up) Because just yesterday I prayed to God to let me meet someone exactly like me, and here you are!
Whoa, whoa, lady. You and I are NOTHING alike…..for instance, I don’t need to be in a mental institution.
LIZZY: Oh, really?
BC: Yes, and it’s like you were sent straight from God.
Well, I am pretty special, if I do say so myself. In fact, I rather consider myself a gift from God to the whole world……
BC: We need to get out and spread the love of God to everybody…..just talk to everyone!
LIZZY: I shall leave that in your more than capable hands. I don’t really talk to people.
BC: Now is the time to start….it is coming.
What the hell? What’s coming? This is sounding ominous….
BC: Teach your family how to love.
LIZZY: Uh, I am not married and don’t have kids.
BC: Your other family. Your siblings and parents.
LIZZY: I’m pretty sure they have that under control.
BC: We don’t have much time…the evil one is coming.
Holy crap, this is like the beginning of a horror movie. This never ends well…
LIZZY: That is definitely a concern….but I kind of have to go.
Shit, Ninja was so right….this is complete insanity. No wonder he’s concerned for my mental state.

I excused myself and headed out again, just in awe of the crazy people among us. About half an hour later, a car full of young guys passed me, and they saw me. They tried to get me to use the air horn on the truck. I laughed. They were trying to yell to me as they drove beside me, but I kept my window up. They were blowing kisses and waving, and one of them was trying to get me to flash them. I gave him the finger and shook my head. So he took off his shirt. Why? I do not know. Men are not always smart and mature. The genius then decided it would be even better if he pulled his pants down, right there in the car on the highway with a huge audience. So there he was, just with everything in plain view in the back window, thinking he was the life of the party. I turned my head and tried to hide my face, as it was all drawing a terrible amount of attention and hugely embarrassing. His buddy seemed embarrassed for him and mouthed “sorry” to me, while looking a bit red himself. I said thanks. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up, and all was right with the world again…..once they left.
The broker apparently misplaced my border paperwork as well, so I had to stop and send a 56 page, $112 dollar fax. That has got to be the single most expensive fax in history. All in all, an eventful and entertaining day.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Of California, Pansy, and The Days Inndian

After the run to B.C. at breakneck speed, or more accurately- 100 kph, combined with 13 hours of driving a day equaling over 700 miles a day, I was tired. But there was no time to rest. California was calling, and far be it from me to slow down and breathe, so off I went. It took me a day and a half to run out of hours, so I parked to do a 36 hour break, which resets my available hours to 70. I was in Willows, California, a quiet peaceful little town, where I parked behind a Days Inn in an empty lot, which just happened to be beside a Starbucks. I relaxed, took my dogs for a 2 hour walk, hacked the Days Inn Wireless password and spent entirely too much time online and sleeping. But I needed it. I slept for 11 hours straight. The next day was just as relaxing and exactly the same, except I needed to be up at midnight to get to my delivery on time. It was rather warm out, so I decided to change things up and sleep naked. Bad idea. I had been in bed for about an hour when the manager of the Hotel…..aka the Days (East) Inndian, was banging on my door and yelling at me to get up.

DAYS INNDIAN: Come down from your truck right now!
LIZZY: One minute!
DI: No one minute! NOW!
LIZZY: You are going to HAVE to give me a minute!
DI: No minute! I am calling the police! This is private property!
LIZZY: GIVE ME ONE MINUTE!!!!
DI: Come down from there right now! That’s it! I will call a tow truck!

I struggled angrily into my clothes and got up in the front seat and rolled down the window. I was not a happy camper.

LIZZY: I have been here since yesterday, I am neat and tidy, and quiet. I am not bothering anybody, or getting in the way. What is the problem?
DI: This is private property. You can’t park here.
LIZZY: There were no signs regarding trespassing.
DI: No need for signs. It is the DAYS INN!
LIZZY: Look, I’ve been here since yesterday. I am leaving at midnight. Can’t you just let me stay a few more hours?
DI: No. Leave right now. I am calling the police……unless you give me money.
LIZZY: I’m pretty sure extortion is illegal.
DI: Give me $35 dollars and we’ll call it even.
LIZZY: What???
DI: I call police.

I threw some money at him and he slinked away. But then I thought to myself…. “are you just going to get walked on again? NO!” So I dressed up neatly, put on my bravest face and marched into the office demanding to speak with the Days Inndian.

LIZZY: How dare you treat me the way you did? I am leaving, and I want my money.
DI: No money.
LIZZY: Give me my money.
DI: No
LIZZY: Oh, so this is how they teach you to treat women in India? Like garbage? With zero respect or consideration? Why didn’t you speak to the men who were parked there? Why did you pick on me? Oh wait, I know….because I’m female!!!!
DI: I do not hate women. I am just telling you the rules. And I make the rules. You need to leave.
LIZZY: I will when you give me my money. Or would you prefer I go across the street to that police station and report you for extortion? Cause I’m pretty sure telling someone to give you money to stop you from calling the police is illegal.
DI: It was money for parking.
LIZZY: Interesting, because that’s not what you said. You said to give you money or you call the police. Oh, right, this is where you pick on me because you think I’m a helpless female. You WILL give me my money now.
DI: Get your truck out of here.
LIZZY: Only too happy to.

Days Inndian fairly threw my money at me, which I snatched, and snapped, “You are the lowest class person imaginable. Congratulations.”
He was fuming, and so was I but I hopped into my truck and moved down the street to where it was safe and people weren’t the scum of the earth. Then my brave façade crumbled, and yes, I cried. I admit it. I can be one tough girl when I am forced to be, but it stresses me out because it’s really mostly an act that I have perfected out of survival instincts. I angrily fired off a report to Lada about the events, but he is depressed lately and was not there for me. I simply got a “good night” message from him.
Also just after these events, I got a text from Pansy.

PANSY: I kinda miss you.
LIZZY: I gotta sleep. Goodnight.
PANSY: You suck. Goodnight. I love you. Does that scare you?
LIZZY: No, because I know it’s not true.
PANSY: Well, I do. And when you see me, try not to strip me down and take advantage of me right away. At least say hi first.
LIZZY: ??? Are you drunk???
PANSY: I only had a couple beers. I can’t stop thinking about you, though.
LIZZY: Goodnight, Pansy.
PANSY: Goodnight. Sweet dreams.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Flashback #3- The Terrorist Tangelo, July 2005

I was working for Schneider National and was taking a load from Aberfoyle, On, to probably Chicago, I think. I arrived at the Port Huron, Mi. border and got pulled into secondary inspection, which means they are going to search your truck. I was not too worried. I had nothing to hide. I thought.
I went into the building and filled out the necessary declaration form claiming I had nothing with me that was illegal to cross the border with. Including citrus fruit. Citrus is the devil. I signed the paper and waited impatiently for them to get the search over with. They returned, one officer holding a small yellow citrus fruit between two latex-gloved fingers. My heart sank. I forgot I had that. May as well shoot me now. The CBP officer was not impressed.

CBP: What is THIS?
LIZZY: (meekly) It’s a tangelo.
CBP: It is citrus. You cannot bring citrus across the border. You signed a paper saying you had none.
LIZZY: I know. I forgot. I’m sorry.
CBP: You have TWO options.
LIZZY: What are they?
CBP: Either you can take this tangelo back to Canada right now OR…….
Not a bad idea. I could probably lob it back to Canada from where I’m standing. Would that save me a fine?
CBP: (dramatically) I can have it INCINERATED.
LIZZY: (gulping) Um, whatever makes you happy, just do that with it, I guess.

And he marched away to execute the criminal fruit in a horrific and barbaric manner. I have never figured out why one little fruit needed to cause grown men to go to such drastic measures. But then, who am I to question Border Guards on power trips?

Day of the Double D's

I had a really hard run out to B.C. I think I may have set a personal record, in fact. Very tiring. I got to Purolator out by the airport and since it was Sunday, the place was almost deserted, other than a little sweeping truck cleaning the parking lot. I pulled up to the speaker at the security gates and asked where they wanted me to drop the trailer. The man did not speak very good English at all and sounded Asian. I had a lot of trouble understanding him. It got worse when I got back to the intercom at the gate, leaving the yard. I shall call him SG, for security guard.

SG: You have a trailer?
LIZZY: No, I just need my paperwork signed.
SG: Ok, you drive to the office. I sign. Drive one half-a-meter.
LIZZY: (pauses) But that’s like, one and a half feet. Do you mean half a kilometer?
SG: No. Is a half-a-meter.
LIZZY: You mean around the corner of the building?
SG: Just a half-a-meter. You drive. I meet you there. Thanks.

Shaking my head and laughing to myself, I drove around the corner of the building, and there he was, coming out to meet me with a smile on his face. A little old Asian man with white hair. He came up to the window and took my paperwork.

SG: Good morning. Nice to meet you.
LIZZY: Thank you, you too.
SG: It’s a nice truck?
LIZZY: Yes, it’s alright. I like it.
SG: Ah, you remember the good old days of the Double D’s?
LIZZY: (slightly taken aback) Excuse me? The what?
SG: The Double D’s. You know.
LIZZY: (confused and possibly blushing) No, I’m sorry, I don’t.
(Is he trying to say I have small boobs? That can’t be it….)
SG: Clutches. Double D clutches. Maybe they were before your time?
LIZZY: (breathing a sigh of relief) Must be. I’m very young…….

I smiled, said goodbye and continued out of the yard, thanking my lucky stars I hadn’t opened my mouth and said something really embarrassing or stupid while in my state of confusion. But I always wonder…..what ARE these old men getting away with while we think they are so innocent?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Slim and Cowboy

I was at Slim and Cowboy’s last night, pouring out my confusion regarding Lada. They must be so sick of insecure me, so thank God they love me and put up with my silly girliness. I have appointed Cowboy the title of “professional dude”, which means that when I have a dude question, I ask the professionals. He did not choose this position, it was just kind of unwittingly forced on him before he could escape. But what I love about these two is that they care about me so much that they are very protective and caring and want to see me have the best in life, which means people who hurt me need to look out! Before I knew it, they were working out a plan to dig up all the dirt on Lada they possibly could, even offering to go under cover to the bar he works at. It’s awesome. Unfortunately if Lada were to figure it out, it would quite likely (ok WOULD) make me look like a psycho bitch. Poor guy wouldn’t know what hit him with these two. I love it. They are my family….you know, kind of like the Mafia….but not. Expect to be hearing more of these two.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Flashback #2- Hell is Alive And Well In Mississippi, February, 2005

During my first year of trucking I was working for Schneider National, and still getting a feel for things. I had not yet figured out where to go and where to stay away from at all costs.
I had a load coming out of Olive Branch, Mississippi, going back to Canada. I decided to stop at a pilot there and fax my border paperwork. It was a beautiful day and I was happy, wearing my pink sunglasses and pink top, and looking very girly in general. I hopped out of my truck and headed for the building with a spring in my step. I was about to pass a guy who was coming towards me when he suddenly put his hand on my arm. Taken aback by this douchebag, I spun to face him.

DB: Get in my truck.
Lizzy: Excuse me???
DB: (looking a bit bewildered) Get in my truck.
All of a sudden I realized he thought I was a lot lizard. (Truck stop hooker) I was enraged. I try not to swear so I had to get creative.
Lizzy: (Angrily pulling my arm free) You disgusting PERVERT!!!! You lowdown, filthy PIG! Your Mother would be ASHAMED!!! How dare you?! Keep your slimy hands OFF me! If you were on fire, I would not spit on you!!
At this point he was getting kind of redfaced, as several people had stopped to watch. The truckers were snickering at him. I turned on my heel and put on my “bitch from hell” act out of self-preservation and fear and marched into the building and sent my fax. As I was leaving the building, a trucker came running up with his arm wrapped in a towel, bleeding profusely as police swarmed into the place. He had been stabbed through the arm in the back of the parking lot. At this point I got a little frantic and made a dash for my truck. An African American guy stepped into my path. “Are you ok? I can take care of you.”
“Leave me ALONE!!!” I yelled as I ran past and leaped into my truck in record time, locking the doors. Once inside I took a deep breath and collected myself. I’m safe now. I can relax. I turned on my CB radio, which I almost never use because as a girl the men just harass me. Lot lizards were advertising on every channel, and could see a couple skeleton-like, crack- whore types walking the parking lot. And that was the last time I ever stopped anywhere in Olive Branch, Mississippi.

Who are you, Lada?

Last night Lada and I were supposed to go see a movie and get supper, but he got home from Hamilton too late and had to work from 10pm to 3am. I was disappointed, because I have been enjoying his company more than I expected I would. I’m always prepared for the worst, I guess. He hadn’t been feeling well and was being a little whiny and not being very clear about anything he said, so I finally just told him to be straightforward and tell me what he wanted. He said what he wanted was to come see me, but couldn’t because of work. I told him to just come after work and crawl in bed with me, and he could leave early in the morning for an event he was attending.
Before I go any further, let me just say that this is NOT my usual. The last time a guy slept in my bed (or I slept in a guy’s bed) was 4 years ago. Lada is not fully aware of this but has a pretty good idea I think, because he knows how long I’ve been single and has occasionally brought the subject up over the last three years.
So he came over at 4am, set the alarms, and crawled into bed with me. I was lying on my side and he was on his back for only a minute before turning on his side to face me. He laced his fingers through mine, and put his head on my pillow with his forehead and nose touching mine. I swear he just gets cuter and cuter. I hate it. It’s scaring me. He stayed like that for about half an hour before he kissed me. I smiled and whispered, “Go to sleep.” He chuckled, murmured, “uh, huh”, and kissed me again. I’m not gonna lie, there was a fairly heavy make-out session that followed, but I’m not giving details. It would be too much information. But I clearly told him, just like I have many other times that there would be no sex of any type. He promised not to think I’m a tease and be frustrated, but we’ll see. I fell asleep on his shoulder and a Chihuahua fell asleep on the other. My two Chihuahuas love him.
He kissed me goodbye and left in the morning, promising to text me today even though he is going to an event with his guy friends all day. He is good about that. Always texts first, even when he’s busy. On a side note, the boy looks really hot in his motorcycle gear…. I’m not going to fall in love with just anybody, but I do care about him, and sort of hope things might eventually head somewhere. Either that, or he will ditch me soon, because he knows I don’t do friends with benefits. If I absolutely could not see him in the picture for a while I would not even be bothering. But I’m also really scared of getting hurt. It’s so easy being single…

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Gauntlet

So, I should mention Lada. We have been friends for about 3 years. We met one day while out on our motorcycles, exchanged numbers and have been e-mailing and texting ever since. We have always talked alot. He made no secret of the fact that he thought I was hot and wanted to sleep with me. But that is not my style, and I told him it was not going to happen. About two years into the friendship, I got tired of his male pushiness and the fact that he didn't always seem straightforward and transparent, so I told him the friendship wasn't worth it to me and that I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He begged me not to do it, said he didn't want to be cut out of my life but that if that's what I wanted, he would respect that. In the end, I caved and put him on a six month ban. He was not allowed to talk to me. At one point he e-mailed me to say he missed me, but I did not answer it. For sure guys do not wait like this right? Completely irrational of me. Sure to drive him away. It did not work. Six months passed and I got an e-mail asking if it was ok to talk to me again. I had to honour the deal. We started talking again.We have killed the battery on his cell phone on several occasions we talk so long.He wanted to spend time with me, but one of us was always busy, and I admit it may have been on purpose at times. So finally he cornered me and asked me to come have supper at his place with him and his friends. I went even though I was tense and nervous, and he could see how uncomfortable I was, so he just talked a mile a minute to make up for it. I sat outside with him as he barbecued and we talked. It was relaxing. He is not extremely hot, but is definitely cute, and has an amazing soothing voice I love to listen to. After supper we had a couple minutes to ourselves when no one was in the room. Lada sighed, grabbed my arms, pulled me close and kissed my forehead., which was incredibly sweet. I melted. Later that evening we kissed, and I seriously got butterflies. Pathetic. I'm thinking there is a lot of chemistry there, because the boy shivers when I touch him. It's awesome. We curled up on the couch and watched t.v. and talked and it was just so comfortable I wished I could have stayed like that, with his arms around me and his face buried in my hair. But I'm not sure I can trust myself to behave, so I left even though I know he wanted me to stay. He continued to text me for the next couple hours till I said Goodnight. He said he knew from the first time we talked that I was genuine and something special, and that is why he stuck out the six month ban. I was glad to know that, but I still find him confusing. I don't really know for sure what he wants. Maybe I'm just bad at this.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Mumsy Strikes Again

I am just on the tail end of eleven days off after working 6 weeks, and the first part of it I spent going to Supercross (YAY!!) in Toronto with my brother. It was amazing.
Then I went up to Mumsy's to spend March break with my little brother and sister. I was going to leave at the end of the week, but had to leave early so I didn't die of sleep deprivation. She was filling my schedule like crazy. "Can you use your pickup truck to go get me hay for the horses?" "Please bring 4 bales of hay to this farm so they can inspect it." "Oh, you made supper?" "My fridge died- can you go pick up a new one for me?" And then waking me up at 6 am consistently after i went to bed around midnight. I ended up saying I had to leave to get stuff done before work, and leaving 2 days early, so I could get some rest.
It is more relaxing now though, in spite of the fact that the brakes went on my pickup truck while I was driving and it is now at the mechanic's.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Flashback #1- Something is Creepy....And It's You. November, 2009

I have decided I have had too many strange/wonderful/scary things happen to me before my blog began to simply ignore them, so I am going to tell some of them as Flashbacks now and again to give a better understanding of my life out here on the road.

Flashback #1- Something Is Creepy….. And It’s You. (November, 2009)

It was a relatively warm sunny day in November and I had stopped in at a Pilot gas station to fax my paperwork and grab a starbucks doubleshot. I was on my way back to the truck, and as I passed a rather nondescript man, he spoke.

ND: Hey,…I saw you a couple weeks ago.
ME: (pausing briefly) Oh? I don’t remember you.
ND: You were at a truck stop in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
ME: If you say so….

I brushed past him and got to my truck as quickly as I could. But here’s the thing. He DID see me there. But let me explain. It was about 2 am, and raining heavily. Dark out. I stopped at a truck stop to switch trailers with another driver, and ran in to use the bathroom before I left. Since the weather was bad, and it seemed like maybe not the best neighborhood, I tucked my hair inside a big hoodie and ran inside quickly with my head down. I spoke to no one. I was there all of 15 minutes, and spent that time trying to hide my identity. This was all essentially just a big reminder to myself that when I think I am safe, and no one’s watching, I’m wrong.
I’m sorry it has been a while since I have posted. Things have been so busy.
A few days ago, I got a load to Chicago from Mississauga, Ontario. As I was at the shipper picking up my load, I got a message over the satellite telling me that another driver who was going to Chicago as well had stopped in London to get fuel and had left his wallet behind, containing all his fuel cards and his FAST Card. (Free And Secure Trade- it is a card you use to cross the border instead of your passport). He had been able to cross the border using his passport, so they asked me if I could pick up his wallet on my way by and meet up with him in Chicago. I said “no problem”, so they set us up so we could message each other’s trucks directly via satellite. Basically when you receive a message from the other truck, their truck number is at the top, and the message is below it. I deliberately did not sign my name to my messages, as I don’t want it to be relevant whether I am male or female.
He arrived in Chicago a couple of hours before me, so by the time I got there, he had gone to sleep. I parked my truck a distance away and walked to him. It was the middle of the night. I knocked on his door, but no one answered. I tried again. Nothing. I made one last attempt and banged on his door. He came to the window half asleep, and rolled it down halfway.

DAVE: No thank you, I’m not interested… (and he began to go back to bed)
ME: (seething) Here’s your fucking wallet.
DAVE: Oh God, ……..I’m so sorry.

I mean, come on! I have SEEN Lot Lizards. They are used up, drug addicted whores. I am beautiful. I understand I inadvertently set the stage for that one though, by not specifying whether I was male or female, parking where he couldn’t see my truck and knocking on his door at night in the middle of Chicago, so I have to give the guy a free pass for this one. But I was pretty angry at the time. Lol.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Torture by Warning Buzzer

The day before yesterday I was near Chicago, and parked for the night. I decided to run the truck for an hour or so just to make sure the batteries didn't die during the night. About 20 seconds after I turned the truck on, the message panel told me that the coolant was dangerously low, and the warning buzzer came on. Obviously I was concerned. I had just checked the coolant at my last fuel stop a couple of hours before, and it was full. Thinking I had sprung a leak, I popped the hood open, jumped out of the truck and checked it again. The level had dropped a little, but it was still pretty much full. I waited for a couple of agonizing minutes for the truck to figure out there was no dire situation here and shut the buzzer off, but it didn't. Now, you have to understand that this is quite possibly the most horrible, loudest buzzer you have ever heard. Kind of like in the movies, when a building is under a bomb threat and there are all these flashing red lights and the emergency buzzer is blaring as people rush from the building before it blows. Picture that, only there is no bomb. Nothing (hopefully) is going to blow. And it won't shut off. It's incessant. So I decide I will top up the coolant and that should turn the buzzer off. Only problem is, there are only two service stations there and neither of them carries the red coolant, which is of course, what I use. So I message my company and ask them if they have another truck coming by, can he please bring me some? Why, yes, of course. He'll be there in the morning. During the night I had to wake up and run the truck a few times because it was very cold and I didn't want the poor thing to freeze up and die, so during this time the buzzer was continually blaring away. I shut the truck off right in the nick of time, just before the brink of insanity.
In the morning, the other driver came by and topped up my coolant for me, bid me a good day and continued on his way. Problem solved. Or not. The buzzer was still on. Frustrated, I decided to try resetting the message system by cycling the key into the on position several times in quick succession. It didn't work. I messaged the shop. They asked me to just deal until I got back to the shop in a day or two. I told them I cannot last a day or two. I will be in psychiatric care before then. They said to stop by a shop en route and have it checked. But first I had to make three stops around Chicago, which took the better part of the day. So I kept hitting the ESC button on the truck's computer, which gave me exactly 10 seconds of silence before the buzzer came back on. ALL DAY. Then I struck pay dirt. Here are the messages that went back and forth between me and the shop via satellite computer.

SHOP: Can you take it to the Volvo shop in Aurora, IL?
Lizzy: No, that is way out of route. Any other shops?
SHOP: How's Morris, IL?
Lizzy (after a long pause): Sorry, I am not trying to ignore you, it's just that I am trying to hit the ESC button, type messages to you and drive in a snowstorm. You are gonna have to wait till I get to Alsip. But I NEED to find a shop. I am seriously going to have to put my earbuds in and crank my music to survive this and keep my sanity!!
SHOP: Ok, well let us know if any of the shops we mentioned is on your route so we can call in that you are coming.
Lizzy (from the shop in Alsip, IL, where I picked up an empty trailer): Dear shop, being the resourceful woman that I am, I have solved the buzzer problem by batting my eyelashes a few times and pulling the 'dumb blonde' on the nearest mechanic and having him unplug the buzzer. So I am fine now till such a time as I get back to our shop. No rush. Sincerely, Lizzy.
SHOP: Nice!!! We should send you out for blown turbos and other ridiculously expensive repairs. You could save us a lot of money!! Have a safe trip! :)

And so my two days of torture was at an end, thanks to my superior survival skills. Being female has it's benefits!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Confessions Of a Window Shopper

Okay, let me just start by saying.........oh, what the hell, might as well get right to it.
As I have said before, men are beautiful. Also hot. And sexy. Sometimes. Which brings me to a point. Yes, I look at you. If you are extremely hot, I am definitely looking. Unless I think you notice. Then I give you the old, "Pervert. Of course I wasn't looking at you, you just wish I was" look to save face. So here's the deal. Allow me to enlighten men everywhere with a couple of easy to follow, point- form observations.

1) I window shop. ( This is when I am driving on the highway. Most women window shop for clothes and shoes. My window shopping involves checking out guys in pickup trucks.)

2) Don't worry, I do this safely. Eyes on the road first, men second.

3) If you are driving beside my transport truck, I can see right into your pickup truck, so please avoid doing any dudely things like picking your nose or scratching your balls till you pass me.

4) Just because I CAN see you, doesn't mean I want you to unzip your pants. Please, keep it PG. It doesn't turn me on. It makes me call the police.

5) The best thing you could do is wave or possibly blow me a kiss, then get the hell gone.

6) You should be flattered, but don't let it lead to stupidity on your part, cause we all know too well the stupidity of which you are capable.

So there you have it. I have confessed. And to your wife/girlfriend I say, stop giving me dirty looks, bitch, and be glad SOMEONE thinks you got a catch, cause god knows your in-laws don't.

Ladies, Please- I'm straight!

The other day I was in the bathroom and ran into a rather butchy looking woman, who seemed to think it was a great place to introduce yourself. She was awfully talkative, but I thought nothing of it till she started mentioning her "girlfriend" and other extra-curricular activities. Then it all made sense. Now don't get me wrong, if you're a woman, and you're into women, that's your business. But please, stop hitting on me, ladies. I am straight. As straight as it gets. Men are beautiful. You are not. You are not even pulling off the dudely look in an attractive way. (If there is a way to make that attractive)
I'm sorry if I'm insulting anyone here, but just cause you kind of look like a big, fat, ugly dude in plaid and workboots, does not make me attracted to you. Because you are not a man. And may I just say, that while I am flattered that you think I'm incredibly sexy and beautiful, (ok, those may be my words), I would just like to think there are some truckers out there who will give me my space and not bother me. And here's a hint- if it's a tall blonde carrying 2 chihuahuas wearing sweaters, she is probably not gay, and she is probably me. Thank you.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Maybe the forklift driver should lose a little weight?

Back to work this Morning after a relaxing week off playing video games with Bubba and Churf, and playing taxi to both of them. Bubba decided to be a total sweetheart and cook dinner for all of us. Spaghetti it was, straight out of a can, but he was so proud of his skills. We all talked it up like it was the best ever.
I had to pick up a load of paper rolls to take to New York, so I was up early this morning sitting in rush hour traffic. It was pouring rain and overcast. I was damp and chilled through. Things weren't going too badly- I arrived at the shipper, got my dock assignment, dealt with the usual annoying and overly friendly males, and settled in with a book while I waited. The rolls of paper are very heavy. They can only put about 21-22 of them on the trailer, so I can feel when each one gets loaded. One roll, two rolls, three rolls, four r- There was a huge noise of snapping and crashing. I kept reading, oblivious. The forklift driver appeared at my door to tell me I needed to come have a look. I grabbed my flashlight and went inside to check out my apparent faulty trailer, but it turned out there was no need for the flashlight. There was a gaping split in the floor of the trailer through which I could see outside. About four feet long, the floor was split open, and the cross members had broken clean off one side, where it looked like the metal, (possibly weld spots?) had just broken away from the other metal rails. What to do? Of course I called dispatch and told them about it, and Pansy promptly started messaging me to make sure I knew his macho self was worried about me. Even though I was not involved in the incident. So basically the forklift had broken right through the floor of the trailer. He was saying something about the metal cross rails being weak, the trailer sucked. I wanted to tell him that possibly he should lose some weight to avoid this sort of thing happening. I mean really, every other day they load these fine. Yes, it's a very heavy 2000+ lb roll of paper, and the weight of the forklift should be figured in, but really when it comes down to it, it is a perfectly logical assumption that if the driver of said forklift is 50 lbs over weight, it could be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, no? At least in this brilliant mind, that's how it all came together. But they weren't interested in my theories, so I ended up with a wasted day and back to the yard.
But now I'm going to Colorado instead, and Pansy took me out for supper and held me for a while and kissed me, which is the extent of what he's allowed to do. So it wasn't a complete waste, but a girl's gotta keep strict rules.
Pansy also told me he's leaving in April. He finally found a job as a pilot up north. Oh yeah, in case I forgot to mention it, Pansy is a pilot. So I'm glad he found what he wants. He has never been all that happy here.
So what is the moral of this story?? Put forklift drivers on a diet. It could eliminate alot of catastrophes.