Flashback #4- The Wildlife Just Looks Innocent, May, 2009

Believe it or not, myself and my chihuahuas were chased down by a deer. I thought we were going to be seriously injured, but escaped intact. I know you may think I'm being a drama queen, but I am telling the truth. I never thought a deer could be in the least aggressive. I thought they were shy and always run away. We were in Montana, and I decided to go for a nice long walk out in the country down a quiet, deserted road. We had gotten fairly far and Mooshie was off his leash running around when we came towards the top of a large hill, and I saw a deer watching us from a distance. I grabbed Mooshie and put him on his leash so as not to scare the deer, and was thinking how nice it was to be out away from the city where you could actually see wildlife. He never moved as we passed and headed down the hill, so once we were out of sight I let Mooshie off to go play again. He ran out into the field to check out the prairie dog holes, while Plushy stayed right by my feet, like she always does. As he got farther from me, I noticed the deer had come to the top of the hill, and was looking down at Mooshie, and I wondered if he was curious, or maybe just making sure we were leaving. But then he took a few steps towards Mooshie and was watching him intently, although Mooshie had not noticed him yet. I began to get worried and called Mooshie's name. He stopped and looked up at me, and at that moment the deer went dashing down the hill straight for him. I panicked and started screaming, "Mooshie, come!" He then saw the deer and started towards me, but was looking over his shoulder at the approaching deer and therefore not moving quick enough. The deer caught up to him and ran right down on top of him, trying to trample him with his hooves, but Mooshie is small and fast, and zig zagged, so the deer missed. By this time I am screaming at him "Come Mooshie!!! Hurry baby, faster!" and he was now running straight for me with all he's got, while the deer ran repeatedly over top of him, trying to trample him. Mooshie was so scared and zig zagged all the way to me, dodging the flying hooves, and I ran towards him with my arms outstretched, scooping him up at the last minute and cradling him in my arms. I thought the deer would never come near me, but as I held Mooshie, the deer stopped abruptly only about 4 feet from me and reared up on his hind legs, striking out at us with his front feet. Still thinking the deer would be scared of me, and being upset over the close call my poor puppy just had, I rushed towards him and yelled "Go away!! Get out of here!" waving my arm towards him, but he did not even back off, he just tried to strike me again, and I jumped back, just shy of his hooves. By this time I got a little afraid and felt rather alone and small in front of this large animal, and clutching my chihuahua, and with Plushy still by my heels barking furiously, I tried to back away slowly, and get away from the deer, but he blocked my escape. All the hair on his back and neck stood straight up, and he ran circles around me looking very tense and aggressive, just out of arms reach, pausing a few times to rear up again and try to hit me. Not knowing what else to do, I continued to back up very slowly, but I knew it was a long way to my truck, and every time I turned my back to him, he rushed at me from behind. It seemed that when we were all together he would only come just out of reach, but he kept attempting to separate us. So I continued this way for a while, walking backwards slowly and trying not to let him see that I was afraid. When we had gone about 20 minutes like this, he gradually got farther away from us and let us go, but was watching us and following us at a distance the rest of the way back to the truck. So we were ok, but it just left me completely confused as to why a deer would do such a thing? I was shocked to think deer would ever behave in that manner. They usually run away, and that's all I ever thought they would do. So much for cute furry wildlife. Oh, and when in Montana- beware the deer!

The Late Night News.

Just some quick updates. Monster Jam was great. Churfy got herself a new boyfriend, (well not brand spanking new, but you know...) so he came with us to Monster Jam. He seems to be a great improvement over the previous model, and neither of us tried to kill each other, so things are looking good. I don't mind the schmoozing, but payback's a bitch, so as soon as I get a man they need to be prepared to be incredibly grossed out. Just saying.
Dprime popped the question, so him and Spaz are planning to get married in October. Apparently I'm an "honorary bridesmaid" whatever that means exactly and as such have received a message from a complete stranger basically telling me to get my act together because we are planning a smashing stag and doe for Dprime and Spaz in July. Thank God I've got time. I haven't the foggiest clue how to go about such a thing, so I'm hoping this "Jeff" character knows what's going on. I may be clueless, but it all still sounds so exciting! Keeping my fingers crossed that we can rastle up the biggest party ever seen for those two.
I just got off the phone with Ryan. He was racing his motorcycle today, and I guess wishing him luck was doom, because he crashed and hurt his leg pretty badly and has to go get x-rays. He can barely walk and is pretty miserable. And I don't think me making fun of him really helped as much as I thought it would. Who knew? And of course, I am all the way in New Brunswick, a mere 1,050 miles from him, so I don't think I was much comfort. I just told him to keep his leg up on a pillow and stay put. Yeah, I'm a genius.
I will post updates on all this breaking news when I get a chance. Over and out. (More accurately, bed is looking pretty awesome right now.)

I Need To Go Back To Work.....Where I Can Relax

It was such a hectic week off, but I am back at work now where I can relax, so I shall bring you up to speed on where things stand with my men.
LADA: Not talking at all. I think this is mutual, and I’m ok with it.
PANSY: Currently being ignored. This is not going to change.
NINJA: I believe he is becoming a bit too emotionally attached very quickly, as he texts multiple times a day and sometimes asks if he can call me as well, and admits to missing me frequently. I kind of don’t blame him as I may have inadvertently kick started this by sleeping at his place three times last week. To all you people reading stuff into this……ONLY sleeping. We have kissed and cuddled, and that is the extent of it. Meanwhile, I have tried to put the brakes on there, as someone unexpected is on the scene. Enter Ryan, previously barely mentioned.
RYAN: Odd as this is, I am struggling right now with how I feel towards Ryan, and here is why. As mentioned in a previous post, we ride together on our motorcycles, weather permitting, but it never left much time for talking as we were merely riding buddies, although I do admit I always make him lead, as the view is better that way. On one of our recent rides, he took me up to Elora Gorge, a huge ravine with a river running through it. We sat at the top, admired the view and talked for an hour and a half, which is more than we had ever talked. I already knew he was a nice guy, but was pleasantly surprised to find myself more comfortable and at ease around him than I’ve been with anyone in a long time. He talks a lot, which is great, but it means we never shut up. Somehow he ended up asking me what I was looking for in a guy, and it wasn’t even hard to answer. I’m for some reason not shy with him at all. I also was pleased that we see eye to eye on almost everything we’ve talked about up to this point, especially our desire to never have children. (I know, we covered practically everything…) So the next few days we kept riding together, until Sunday when Ryan was at the racetrack all day (he races motorcycles as well), and got back a bit late and was too cold and tired to go riding. I figured we’d just skip it, but I got a phone call from him. A bit shy, he said “You know, there’s more to do than just ride bikes. Not that I don’t like riding with you, it’s just I’m saying I would like to take you on a date.” Purely platonic no more…..I said yes. We didn’t do anything extravagant, just went and played pool and talked like crazy. As I said…we never shut up. We laughed and played and made fun of each other. At one point I leaned over the pool table to make a shot and he whistled at me. I blushed, and laughed and couldn’t make the shot, which I think was the whole point. He was pretty amused. It was a great evening. Too great. If I don’t watch it, I could fall for him fast.
I talked to Churfy about it and she said, “He wanted to kiss you. I bet he does.”
“I don’t know about that. We are just friends.”
“Uh huh. When are you seeing him? Tomorrow night again? I will put money on it that he is going to kiss you.”
She was right. Somehow we managed to get on the topic of getting married (!) and he said, “If we ever get married, we are going to elope, get married on a beach and tell our families when we get home.”
I laughed. “Sounds perfect. It’s a deal.”
He went to hug me goodbye and just looked into my eyes for a second, and then he kissed me. (You win, Churfy, what do I owe you?) He hugged me so tight like he didn’t want to let go, and I liked it. Bad me. He didn’t want me to leave, he said. Funny, cause I didn’t want to leave either. But I had to. I told him I would miss his cute self but I would be back soon.
“Good,” he said, “Because we need to start going on real dates. I want to take you out more. Will you go for dinner with me when you come back?”
I tried to stifle a “Hell, yeah!!”, and went with a more subdued “Sure, I'll think about it,” accompanied by a shoulder shrug.
Talk about adding to my confusion though. I’ve never been the type to play men, and I’m not going to start now, but this has all been so sudden and unexpected, and now I don’t know what to do. Churfy delved into the depths of Native American wisdom, (ie…our native friend Kitty), and came up with, “You can’t push a river.”
That about sums it up.

Too Many Men

The last few days have been absolutely packed…..with men. I’ve just been realizing how I have a ridiculous number of guy friends compared to girl friends, since I have spent the last 3 days making sure (or trying to make sure) that none of them cross paths. Things between Lada and I have cooled off considerably, although we still text nearly every day. Mostly just random bits of info to make sure the other is still there. If I ignore him, he will text till I answer.
Ninja had been texting a lot, e-mailing and what not. I have been getting the impression that he is really into me, but at the same time, he is so not my usual type. He is Mr. Perfect. He races motorcycles as a hobby, which is very cool. He is a real gentleman and the most respectful of all my guy friends. I feel safe and secure around him. He doesn’t seem selfish or forward in any way, and I’m used to spending most of my time demanding that my guy friends back off. And I know myself….I usually go for the most unsuitable bad boys. Maybe because I am adventurous and they are never boring? I really don’t know for sure why.
Anyway, when I came home he took me out for supper and to a movie. A very traditional date. I don’t even remember the last time I did that. It was relaxing. We have seen each other three days in a row. He made supper for me last night, which was amazing. I don’t get home cooked food very often. He also changed the oil on my motorcycle for me, which I wasn’t expecting. We watched a movie and he asked me to stay the night, promising to be a gentleman. And he was. He hasn’t even tried to kiss me. How cool is that? Not that I wouldn’t want him to, just that I am happy waiting because it just shows how careful and sincere he is. I feel at ease with him.
Yesterday Pansy took me flying. He just got his instructor rating, so he gave me a lesson, which was great. I flew almost the whole thing myself, in the pilot’s seat, and he is really good at explaining how to do things. So he had me practicing attitudes and banks. Then he took the controls and scared me to death, while I was saying, “please don’t make me sick….”. We had a great time, like the good friends we are and have been, until we got to the awkward conversation….

PANSY: I want to spend more time with you before I leave town.
LIZZY: I’m really busy.
PANSY: You don’t understand. I wasn’t lying that time I said I loved you.
LIZZY: You were drunk. Let’s chalk it up to alcohol.
PANSY: I’m gonna miss you so much.
LIZZY: Not like you are dropping off the face of the earth, Pansy. You know how to get ahold of me.
PANSY: It’s just I was always so awkward around you at first because you were intimidating.
LIZZY: Why? Cause I’m masculine? (laughing)
PANSY: No, because you are such a pretty girl. But then we became friends and I got comfortable around you, and the thing is, you are exactly the kind of girl I want to marry some day. But I never wanted to try to start something with you because I knew I would be leaving.
LIZZY: Don’t play head games with me, Pansy. It’s very convenient that you are saying all this right before leaving town.
PANSY: It’s not convenient. It’s my last chance.
LIZZY: Next thing I know you’ll be saying we should run off and get married in Vegas….. (laughs)
PANSY: I would if I thought you would do it.
LIZZY: Huh, weird. Do you realize that when I was 20, you were just turning 13? Do you know what they do with pedophiles, Pansy? They put them in jail.
PANSY: That’s not even a valid argument.
LIZZY: But you get my point. We were meant to be friends. That is all.

So Pansy left, and I hope I wasn’t too mean, but I just want to be honest and not play games or lead people on. And I am ignoring him a bit. He is just too persistent.
After that, I met up with my friend Ryan and went for about an hour long motorcycle ride out in the country with him leading the way. We didn’t get to talk much, but it’s ok. It was about riding and enjoying the scenery, not chatting. And then off to buy some oil for the bike and to Ninja’s for supper. The thing is, I don’t want to have a ton of guys on standby, I just want my friends to be my friends, without leading them on. But it’s hard because it seems they always want it to go somewhere, and in most cases it’s not hard to figure out where they want it to go, and you can feel free to read between the lines there. I am heading to my sister’s place tomorrow for a few days of great company and tons of laughing and being goofy. We are also going to Monster Jam on Saturday in Detroit. I can’t wait!

Who Let the Crazies Out?

I was up too late last night, chatting online with friends….catching up on news, getting grilled about my sanity by Ninja. I did my best to convince him that I really truly am sane, and that he takes an unnecessarily skeptical view of a trucker’s mental state.
So I got up early and headed out on the road. Part way through the day, I stopped at a rest area to use the bathroom and eat my lunch. As I was coming back to my truck, I was intercepted by a rather odd looking, weather beaten woman who apparently was also a truck driver and parked next to me. She wanted to show me her Chihuahua, which was adorable, and asked how long I’d been driving. I told her five and a half years, and she seemed surprised and told me it was her first week on the job, and proceeded to pretty much tell me her life story. She was a widow, she said, going in a new direction. I told her I was sorry for her loss. She went on to tell me how she had all these weird visions of numbers, and people would just appear and disappear, and perhaps they were angels. And the new world order is rising, and muslims are taking over the world, and there are going to be more and more people like her, banding together for the greater good. The following conversation went something like this: (for simplicity I shall call her BC, for Basket Case)

BC: Do you believe in God?
LIZZY: Yes, I do.
BC: (tearing up) Because just yesterday I prayed to God to let me meet someone exactly like me, and here you are!
Whoa, whoa, lady. You and I are NOTHING alike…..for instance, I don’t need to be in a mental institution.
LIZZY: Oh, really?
BC: Yes, and it’s like you were sent straight from God.
Well, I am pretty special, if I do say so myself. In fact, I rather consider myself a gift from God to the whole world……
BC: We need to get out and spread the love of God to everybody…..just talk to everyone!
LIZZY: I shall leave that in your more than capable hands. I don’t really talk to people.
BC: Now is the time to start….it is coming.
What the hell? What’s coming? This is sounding ominous….
BC: Teach your family how to love.
LIZZY: Uh, I am not married and don’t have kids.
BC: Your other family. Your siblings and parents.
LIZZY: I’m pretty sure they have that under control.
BC: We don’t have much time…the evil one is coming.
Holy crap, this is like the beginning of a horror movie. This never ends well…
LIZZY: That is definitely a concern….but I kind of have to go.
Shit, Ninja was so right….this is complete insanity. No wonder he’s concerned for my mental state.

I excused myself and headed out again, just in awe of the crazy people among us. About half an hour later, a car full of young guys passed me, and they saw me. They tried to get me to use the air horn on the truck. I laughed. They were trying to yell to me as they drove beside me, but I kept my window up. They were blowing kisses and waving, and one of them was trying to get me to flash them. I gave him the finger and shook my head. So he took off his shirt. Why? I do not know. Men are not always smart and mature. The genius then decided it would be even better if he pulled his pants down, right there in the car on the highway with a huge audience. So there he was, just with everything in plain view in the back window, thinking he was the life of the party. I turned my head and tried to hide my face, as it was all drawing a terrible amount of attention and hugely embarrassing. His buddy seemed embarrassed for him and mouthed “sorry” to me, while looking a bit red himself. I said thanks. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up, and all was right with the world again…..once they left.
The broker apparently misplaced my border paperwork as well, so I had to stop and send a 56 page, $112 dollar fax. That has got to be the single most expensive fax in history. All in all, an eventful and entertaining day.

Of California, Pansy, and The Days Inndian

After the run to B.C. at breakneck speed, or more accurately- 100 kph, combined with 13 hours of driving a day equaling over 700 miles a day, I was tired. But there was no time to rest. California was calling, and far be it from me to slow down and breathe, so off I went. It took me a day and a half to run out of hours, so I parked to do a 36 hour break, which resets my available hours to 70. I was in Willows, California, a quiet peaceful little town, where I parked behind a Days Inn in an empty lot, which just happened to be beside a Starbucks. I relaxed, took my dogs for a 2 hour walk, hacked the Days Inn Wireless password and spent entirely too much time online and sleeping. But I needed it. I slept for 11 hours straight. The next day was just as relaxing and exactly the same, except I needed to be up at midnight to get to my delivery on time. It was rather warm out, so I decided to change things up and sleep naked. Bad idea. I had been in bed for about an hour when the manager of the Hotel…..aka the Days (East) Inndian, was banging on my door and yelling at me to get up.

DAYS INNDIAN: Come down from your truck right now!
LIZZY: One minute!
DI: No one minute! NOW!
LIZZY: You are going to HAVE to give me a minute!
DI: No minute! I am calling the police! This is private property!
LIZZY: GIVE ME ONE MINUTE!!!!
DI: Come down from there right now! That’s it! I will call a tow truck!

I struggled angrily into my clothes and got up in the front seat and rolled down the window. I was not a happy camper.

LIZZY: I have been here since yesterday, I am neat and tidy, and quiet. I am not bothering anybody, or getting in the way. What is the problem?
DI: This is private property. You can’t park here.
LIZZY: There were no signs regarding trespassing.
DI: No need for signs. It is the DAYS INN!
LIZZY: Look, I’ve been here since yesterday. I am leaving at midnight. Can’t you just let me stay a few more hours?
DI: No. Leave right now. I am calling the police……unless you give me money.
LIZZY: I’m pretty sure extortion is illegal.
DI: Give me $35 dollars and we’ll call it even.
LIZZY: What???
DI: I call police.

I threw some money at him and he slinked away. But then I thought to myself…. “are you just going to get walked on again? NO!” So I dressed up neatly, put on my bravest face and marched into the office demanding to speak with the Days Inndian.

LIZZY: How dare you treat me the way you did? I am leaving, and I want my money.
DI: No money.
LIZZY: Give me my money.
DI: No
LIZZY: Oh, so this is how they teach you to treat women in India? Like garbage? With zero respect or consideration? Why didn’t you speak to the men who were parked there? Why did you pick on me? Oh wait, I know….because I’m female!!!!
DI: I do not hate women. I am just telling you the rules. And I make the rules. You need to leave.
LIZZY: I will when you give me my money. Or would you prefer I go across the street to that police station and report you for extortion? Cause I’m pretty sure telling someone to give you money to stop you from calling the police is illegal.
DI: It was money for parking.
LIZZY: Interesting, because that’s not what you said. You said to give you money or you call the police. Oh, right, this is where you pick on me because you think I’m a helpless female. You WILL give me my money now.
DI: Get your truck out of here.
LIZZY: Only too happy to.

Days Inndian fairly threw my money at me, which I snatched, and snapped, “You are the lowest class person imaginable. Congratulations.”
He was fuming, and so was I but I hopped into my truck and moved down the street to where it was safe and people weren’t the scum of the earth. Then my brave façade crumbled, and yes, I cried. I admit it. I can be one tough girl when I am forced to be, but it stresses me out because it’s really mostly an act that I have perfected out of survival instincts. I angrily fired off a report to Lada about the events, but he is depressed lately and was not there for me. I simply got a “good night” message from him.
Also just after these events, I got a text from Pansy.

PANSY: I kinda miss you.
LIZZY: I gotta sleep. Goodnight.
PANSY: You suck. Goodnight. I love you. Does that scare you?
LIZZY: No, because I know it’s not true.
PANSY: Well, I do. And when you see me, try not to strip me down and take advantage of me right away. At least say hi first.
LIZZY: ??? Are you drunk???
PANSY: I only had a couple beers. I can’t stop thinking about you, though.
LIZZY: Goodnight, Pansy.
PANSY: Goodnight. Sweet dreams.