Sassy and I arrived in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, and parked for the night at a Flying J truck stop to sleep as we had to deliver in York, Pa the following morning. Davey had called and said he was going right by where we were and if he got there at a reasonable time he would stop and see me. He arrived at three am. I let him into the truck while still half asleep, and he crawled into bed with me, kissed me goodnight, and I passed out on his shoulder. Sassy never woke up. In the morning a groggy Sassy peered down from the top bunk to say she was up, but all she saw was a half naked dude she didn’t recognize. She looked all shocked and raised her eyebrows, pointing emphatically at Davey who was still asleep. I chuckled. “It’s Davey. He got here at three in the morning.”
“Ohhhh, ok… It kinda freaked me out. I don’t remember anyone coming in and I’ve never met Davey so I had no idea who it was and to wake up with a strange guy in the truck just about scared me.”
Davey woke up and rolled over. “Davey, Sassy….Sassy, Davey.”
The two of them got along well. Davey acted like he was 12, and that suited Sassy just fine, although she harassed him so much that at one point he mouthed the words “a bit overwhelming” to me.
My truck had been having some issues with the voltage and the check engine light kept coming on, so Davey checked things for me. “I think you have a bad battery.” He said…”No, wait- they are all bad. You need to get to a shop before your truck decides to die.”
This was bad news, but at least we were very near a Volvo dealership, so we booked the truck into the shop and the company paid for our hotel with a pool. Davey stayed that night too, and Sassy and him got into a silly argument about who was tougher, and Sassy ended up getting unceremoniously thrown into the pool. She was a good sport about it and we ended the evening with pizza. So our week ended up being rather short and not much work was done, but we did manage to relax and spend a lot of time together.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sassy's First Trip
This week was different in some good ways, and some bad ways. I talked Mumsy into letting my youngest sister, Sassy, who is 14, come with me in the truck. We got to my hometown the day before we had to work, and decided to ignore the phone calls from Mumsy who was considering driving the three hours to where we were to take Sassy home. Instead, we went for a motorcycle ride. We got our gear on and met Kristi at her shop. As we were preparing to leave, I rolled my bike up beside Kristi's and parked, except somehow I got the bike a bit off balance and the weight was too much much for me. In slow motion, struggling to hold the beast up, I dropped it. All 460lbs of it. On my foot. Kristi and Sassy rushed over to help me pick it up, as my ankle and foot were pinned under it. I was bummed. I had bent my clutch lever and scratched the left side fairing. My beautiful bike had an ugly scar. Russ came over to help out by kicking me while I was down, making fun of me mercilessly.
“Aw, don’t worry, hun,” said Kristi. “Look at the bright side. I’ll keep it here and fix it for you and it’ll be as good as new by the time you come home next weekend. And you know it’s free of charge for you. We can just wet sand that and get new levers. It’ll be ok.”
Thank goodness for Kristi. She had me feeling better in no time, although my swollen and purple foot was beyond her expertise. But I don’t think I broke anything, so it could have been worse.
The next day we headed out to work, and although Sassy and I talked and laughed for the first while, she soon became bored of the driving and spent most of her time plugged in, either to my Ipod or watching movies. Every once in a while I would make use of her, as she quickly figured out how to do the paperwork, so I left that to her. She was also excellent at taking care of sending all the messages back and forth on the Qualcomm, (satellite computer), and helped a lot at keeping everything running smoothly.
“Aw, don’t worry, hun,” said Kristi. “Look at the bright side. I’ll keep it here and fix it for you and it’ll be as good as new by the time you come home next weekend. And you know it’s free of charge for you. We can just wet sand that and get new levers. It’ll be ok.”
Thank goodness for Kristi. She had me feeling better in no time, although my swollen and purple foot was beyond her expertise. But I don’t think I broke anything, so it could have been worse.
The next day we headed out to work, and although Sassy and I talked and laughed for the first while, she soon became bored of the driving and spent most of her time plugged in, either to my Ipod or watching movies. Every once in a while I would make use of her, as she quickly figured out how to do the paperwork, so I left that to her. She was also excellent at taking care of sending all the messages back and forth on the Qualcomm, (satellite computer), and helped a lot at keeping everything running smoothly.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Overworked, Overbooked and Loving it.
Things have been very busy lately. I have finished my testing and training to become a driver trainer for my company, and should be getting my first student within a week or so, depending on my schedule and what is convenient for me. As much as I have some reservations about whether or not I will enjoy my new position, I really am looking forward to trying something new and getting a student.
As far as updates on my personal/love life, I ended things with Ryan before they hardly began. It just wasn’t going to work. I told him that I could be friends with him, but a relationship just wouldn’t be possible. There was next to no chemistry, and as mean as this sounds, I don’t want to date a guy that’s less man than I am. Combined with the giant warning flags I previously mentioned, and my tendency to send every man packing within a few months, it just wasn’t going to happen. He was upset, but I let him down as gently as I could, and am now ignoring e-mails asking for further clarification of my reasons for ditching him.
Kristi and I rode down to the motorcycle races in Cayuga one day on the weekend, which was a tiny bit awkward as Ryan was racing, and I spent all my time with Ninja who was also there. He was very happy I came, even though it was not for his sake, and was telling me about his races the previous day, and how he didn’t win. I know he can ride well, so when he said he didn’t know what he was doing wrong, and how to get a bit more speed, I responded with, “Well, maybe you should drive a little faster. Just twist it.” He laughed and said that I make everything sound so much more simple than it really is. I shrugged. “Maybe everything is more simple than people would like to think.”
Ninja won the race that day. By a long shot. So of course like any good friend, I tried to take all the credit, since clearly me telling him to drive faster is why he won.
It has been great having Kristi to ride with as I would way rather ride with her than any of the guys. Because honestly, what guy wants to ride to a nail salon to get his nails done and his eyebrows threaded? She just understands me so much better.
I saw Davey not long ago. I did not run from him as I probably should have. We talk and text every day and have gotten to be quite good friends. He has always been very complimentary and warm towards me so it came as no surprise when he told me he loved me. It just kind of slipped out. He said he wouldn’t apologize because it had just felt natural to say it and he wasn’t going to deny anything. It was over the phone, not in person, so at this point I laid everything out for him, and told him he is likely to get burned if he truly loves me, and was brutally honest about the fact that I seem to go through one guy after another- two or three months in they tell me they love me and I either get cold feet or feel I could never return their feelings so at that point I ditch them fast, in a ‘it was nice knowing you’, kind of way.
He asked if I meant this was goodbye? I said we were treading on thin ice, but I wasn’t quite ready to cut him loose just yet. I told him I was sure it was just an infatuation and that it would pass, and I could give him no encouragement whatsoever. Cruel, I know, but isn’t honesty the best policy? He responded that it really was love and that maybe I was a poor choice if he wished to guard his emotions, but he was prepared to take that chance, and would be there until such a time as I chose to be rid of him. He said I was different from anyone he’s ever known and that I have some kind of unexplainable invisible hold on him. Rash, I thought, but it was his choice. He has since asked if he could be mine, and I have said no, I am claiming nothing. I just have a nagging feeling it would never work, in spite of the fact that I have more chemistry with him than I think I have ever had with anyone and it is all I can do to not sleep with him. For that reason it is probably good that we don’t live closer to each other. When I saw him a couple weeks ago, we spent the night together, although we didn’t sleep at all, and my self control almost deserted me. It just feels so comfortable and good to be in his arms, and he pulls at my heartstrings like no one has in a long time. We were cuddling and making out and he just took my face in his hands, looked into my eyes and said, “We can’t sleep together. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it.”
The promise he is referring to is from a while ago, when I told him that I only intended to sleep with my boyfriend, if I was in love with him. He said he would not ask me for anything physically and that since he was not my boyfriend, and I was not in love, he would not compromise my standards, morals, or feelings, and therefore would not sleep with me. I didn’t really believe a guy would stick to such a thing, but he has not only stuck to it, he has reminded me not to cross my own lines. Of course, predictably, this only makes me like him more. I think I need to work harder on my Ice Queen routine before I let him in too much. I don’t want to get too involved, as staying cold has always let me keep the upper hand and end things abruptly with no emotional discomfort.
So here I am, on my way home from Iowa, with a boy’s heart in my incapable hands once again, a family birthday party to attend and Churfy on crutches after a horse accident left her with amnesia, a concussion and a fractured foot. She is returning from Alberta next weekend, at which time I will be picking her up from the airport, babying her and spoiling her rotten.
The remainder of this weekend I will be spending with Davey in Detroit, and hopefully riding my motorcycle.
As far as updates on my personal/love life, I ended things with Ryan before they hardly began. It just wasn’t going to work. I told him that I could be friends with him, but a relationship just wouldn’t be possible. There was next to no chemistry, and as mean as this sounds, I don’t want to date a guy that’s less man than I am. Combined with the giant warning flags I previously mentioned, and my tendency to send every man packing within a few months, it just wasn’t going to happen. He was upset, but I let him down as gently as I could, and am now ignoring e-mails asking for further clarification of my reasons for ditching him.
Kristi and I rode down to the motorcycle races in Cayuga one day on the weekend, which was a tiny bit awkward as Ryan was racing, and I spent all my time with Ninja who was also there. He was very happy I came, even though it was not for his sake, and was telling me about his races the previous day, and how he didn’t win. I know he can ride well, so when he said he didn’t know what he was doing wrong, and how to get a bit more speed, I responded with, “Well, maybe you should drive a little faster. Just twist it.” He laughed and said that I make everything sound so much more simple than it really is. I shrugged. “Maybe everything is more simple than people would like to think.”
Ninja won the race that day. By a long shot. So of course like any good friend, I tried to take all the credit, since clearly me telling him to drive faster is why he won.
It has been great having Kristi to ride with as I would way rather ride with her than any of the guys. Because honestly, what guy wants to ride to a nail salon to get his nails done and his eyebrows threaded? She just understands me so much better.
I saw Davey not long ago. I did not run from him as I probably should have. We talk and text every day and have gotten to be quite good friends. He has always been very complimentary and warm towards me so it came as no surprise when he told me he loved me. It just kind of slipped out. He said he wouldn’t apologize because it had just felt natural to say it and he wasn’t going to deny anything. It was over the phone, not in person, so at this point I laid everything out for him, and told him he is likely to get burned if he truly loves me, and was brutally honest about the fact that I seem to go through one guy after another- two or three months in they tell me they love me and I either get cold feet or feel I could never return their feelings so at that point I ditch them fast, in a ‘it was nice knowing you’, kind of way.
He asked if I meant this was goodbye? I said we were treading on thin ice, but I wasn’t quite ready to cut him loose just yet. I told him I was sure it was just an infatuation and that it would pass, and I could give him no encouragement whatsoever. Cruel, I know, but isn’t honesty the best policy? He responded that it really was love and that maybe I was a poor choice if he wished to guard his emotions, but he was prepared to take that chance, and would be there until such a time as I chose to be rid of him. He said I was different from anyone he’s ever known and that I have some kind of unexplainable invisible hold on him. Rash, I thought, but it was his choice. He has since asked if he could be mine, and I have said no, I am claiming nothing. I just have a nagging feeling it would never work, in spite of the fact that I have more chemistry with him than I think I have ever had with anyone and it is all I can do to not sleep with him. For that reason it is probably good that we don’t live closer to each other. When I saw him a couple weeks ago, we spent the night together, although we didn’t sleep at all, and my self control almost deserted me. It just feels so comfortable and good to be in his arms, and he pulls at my heartstrings like no one has in a long time. We were cuddling and making out and he just took my face in his hands, looked into my eyes and said, “We can’t sleep together. I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it.”
The promise he is referring to is from a while ago, when I told him that I only intended to sleep with my boyfriend, if I was in love with him. He said he would not ask me for anything physically and that since he was not my boyfriend, and I was not in love, he would not compromise my standards, morals, or feelings, and therefore would not sleep with me. I didn’t really believe a guy would stick to such a thing, but he has not only stuck to it, he has reminded me not to cross my own lines. Of course, predictably, this only makes me like him more. I think I need to work harder on my Ice Queen routine before I let him in too much. I don’t want to get too involved, as staying cold has always let me keep the upper hand and end things abruptly with no emotional discomfort.
So here I am, on my way home from Iowa, with a boy’s heart in my incapable hands once again, a family birthday party to attend and Churfy on crutches after a horse accident left her with amnesia, a concussion and a fractured foot. She is returning from Alberta next weekend, at which time I will be picking her up from the airport, babying her and spoiling her rotten.
The remainder of this weekend I will be spending with Davey in Detroit, and hopefully riding my motorcycle.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Poker Face
It is all a game. A very addictive game, I am starting to think. I intended to weed some of the men out of my life as I gravitated towards Ryan, but I hit a bump, and everything was derailed in a very short amount of time. First things first. Ryan and I have been seeing a lot of each other and I was fully enjoying getting to know him without the added pressure of sex, since we agreed to not do that for the time being, and focus on forming a real and solid friendship based on personality and character, not bedroom skills. Unfortunately this enabled me to have my eyes wide open to the good, the bad and the ugly. The Good: He is sweet, thoughtful and caring and puts no pressure on me physically. Plus, he likes to cuddle. The Bad: Something doesn’t sit quite right, and he let me in on things lately that explain a lot. I am not sure yet whether it is all negative, but it most certainly isn’t positive, unless you consider it positive that he trusted me and let me in. The Ugly: The bad doesn’t even need to be mentioned since it was eclipsed by the ugly. Allow me to explain what set off the warning flags. We were having lunch and I was telling him stuff about work, which he had asked about. In the middle of me talking, he pipes up with, “To be honest you are kind of rambling on. Maybe you could get to the point?” (Don’t quote this as being verbatim, but it’s very close.) To which I replied that I thought we were just having a conversation and wasn’t aware I needed to make a point.
“Well, I think if you are going to talk, you should have a point.”
Point taken. The party was over. I became a bit down and quiet, for fear I might (heaven forbid) open my mouth and fail to make a point. But I let it go. Till the next day. We were driving in his car and I was telling him a silly story about Churfy and I, and granted, I may have been a tad bit animated. He reached over, put his hand over my mouth and said, “Shh, shh. You’re getting too wired.”
A bit taken aback, I sat in silence for the rest of the ride. He hadn’t even let me finish my story. After 5 years of blatant independence, I am not going to let someone shush me, put me down or control me. He should know that. But then maybe not, as I had become docile and allowed him to walk on me. The next morning I was leaving for California, and avoided his kiss goodbye. He asked what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong, and I had to get going.
He texted me on his way to work, to ask if we could talk, but I didn’t hear my phone…. even when he tried to call multiple times. For real. So his next text said he was concerned and felt like maybe he wasn’t going to see me again, and to please get in touch and talk to him asap so he could stop worrying. I told him I would talk to him, but it wasn’t going to be via text as that was too impersonal. I ended up not leaving till the next morning, so we were going to try to meet up, but it didn’t work out. He dropped the ball completely and ended up not seeing me or talking to me that night even though he supposedly was making it a priority. Such a priority, in fact, that he stayed out till after midnight on a work night doing god knows what. And I really don’t buy that he was with who he said he was with. But I don’t care. What will be, will be. I went to Ninja’s house instead, and said hello and goodbye to him, but couldn’t bring myself to stay the night as he asked, because I don’t want to be doing anything inappropriate. But it reminded me how solid and non-flaky Ninja is.
So this week Ryan and I have been talking off and on. He is saying he misses me and really wants to see me, and is ok with being in the doghouse till I get back and talk to him about what is on my mind. Thing is, is it worth talking about? If it’s a lame mistake, yeah, but if it’s a pattern of controlling behavior, I’m not naïve enough to think I can influence or fix that in any way. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see how talking about it turns out. I could get my answer right then.
Back off Ryan, talk to Steve, fend off amorous advances from Davey and ….Pansy? Back to too many men! Pansy is manageable. He’s been texting a lot from his new abode WAY the hell up north, which I chalk up to the effects of solitary confinement. It can make anyone crazy. His latest is a million compliments followed by begging and pleading for naked pictures. “Sorry,” I say, “You know I have a no picture policy. Go watch some Eskimo porn and leave me alone.” Case dismissed. Easy enough.
Davey on the other hand is totally my type, which is exactly the type I should stay away from. I know from previous experience it doesn’t work. He’s from Tennessee- a bad boy. Tattooed, ear rings, eyebrow stud and a sexy, manly scar on his face. Plus he’s aggressive and protective. All features I love, that make him a horrible prospect. I know I can’t date him. But he targets all my weaknesses. He doesn’t know that, it’s just the way it is. And today he told me he really likes me a lot and wants me to think well of him, told me he misses me and just wants to hold me, and called me baby and sweet heart. I have never even hugged him, since it is rare that he’s been around and I knew I needed to keep my distance. He is saying everything I want to hear constantly these days, and it’s so tough to fight it, but I know I have to. Must not think about…..oh God, who am I kidding? I can’t do this. I need to run for the hills.
I was trying to explain my situation to Churfy this evening.
LIZZY: I think I play my men like a poker hand- I have a full house and I just keep bluffing.
CHURFY: Oh god, You’re like the female version of a ‘player’, minus the sleeping around. What are you gonna do when you meet a really nice guy and you don’t wanna play him?
LIZZY: If he’s awesome, I guess I’ll fold.
Or will I? I thought that I was ready to find a nice guy, and settle into having a boyfriend. I hate to admit this, and maybe there is something wrong with me, but the more men I have around, flattering me and catering to my every whim, the more addictive it becomes. How can I choose just one? Can I really settle down and be content? I would like to think so, and especially for a girl like me, you would think that I would want to settle down since I refuse to sleep with a guy that’s not my boyfriend, and having hot guys around that I can’t/won’t sleep with does get old. And is it really fair to toy with their feelings, even if I’m not in bed with them? I always thought not being physical made it ok, but now I’m starting to wonder, as emotions seem to crop up on their sides in spite of my strict rules. While I don’t think it’s despicable, odds are that if you want to date me or you start to fall for me, you are going to get played. I think I need to change that before it becomes an ingrained habit.
“Well, I think if you are going to talk, you should have a point.”
Point taken. The party was over. I became a bit down and quiet, for fear I might (heaven forbid) open my mouth and fail to make a point. But I let it go. Till the next day. We were driving in his car and I was telling him a silly story about Churfy and I, and granted, I may have been a tad bit animated. He reached over, put his hand over my mouth and said, “Shh, shh. You’re getting too wired.”
A bit taken aback, I sat in silence for the rest of the ride. He hadn’t even let me finish my story. After 5 years of blatant independence, I am not going to let someone shush me, put me down or control me. He should know that. But then maybe not, as I had become docile and allowed him to walk on me. The next morning I was leaving for California, and avoided his kiss goodbye. He asked what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong, and I had to get going.
He texted me on his way to work, to ask if we could talk, but I didn’t hear my phone…. even when he tried to call multiple times. For real. So his next text said he was concerned and felt like maybe he wasn’t going to see me again, and to please get in touch and talk to him asap so he could stop worrying. I told him I would talk to him, but it wasn’t going to be via text as that was too impersonal. I ended up not leaving till the next morning, so we were going to try to meet up, but it didn’t work out. He dropped the ball completely and ended up not seeing me or talking to me that night even though he supposedly was making it a priority. Such a priority, in fact, that he stayed out till after midnight on a work night doing god knows what. And I really don’t buy that he was with who he said he was with. But I don’t care. What will be, will be. I went to Ninja’s house instead, and said hello and goodbye to him, but couldn’t bring myself to stay the night as he asked, because I don’t want to be doing anything inappropriate. But it reminded me how solid and non-flaky Ninja is.
So this week Ryan and I have been talking off and on. He is saying he misses me and really wants to see me, and is ok with being in the doghouse till I get back and talk to him about what is on my mind. Thing is, is it worth talking about? If it’s a lame mistake, yeah, but if it’s a pattern of controlling behavior, I’m not naïve enough to think I can influence or fix that in any way. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see how talking about it turns out. I could get my answer right then.
Back off Ryan, talk to Steve, fend off amorous advances from Davey and ….Pansy? Back to too many men! Pansy is manageable. He’s been texting a lot from his new abode WAY the hell up north, which I chalk up to the effects of solitary confinement. It can make anyone crazy. His latest is a million compliments followed by begging and pleading for naked pictures. “Sorry,” I say, “You know I have a no picture policy. Go watch some Eskimo porn and leave me alone.” Case dismissed. Easy enough.
Davey on the other hand is totally my type, which is exactly the type I should stay away from. I know from previous experience it doesn’t work. He’s from Tennessee- a bad boy. Tattooed, ear rings, eyebrow stud and a sexy, manly scar on his face. Plus he’s aggressive and protective. All features I love, that make him a horrible prospect. I know I can’t date him. But he targets all my weaknesses. He doesn’t know that, it’s just the way it is. And today he told me he really likes me a lot and wants me to think well of him, told me he misses me and just wants to hold me, and called me baby and sweet heart. I have never even hugged him, since it is rare that he’s been around and I knew I needed to keep my distance. He is saying everything I want to hear constantly these days, and it’s so tough to fight it, but I know I have to. Must not think about…..oh God, who am I kidding? I can’t do this. I need to run for the hills.
I was trying to explain my situation to Churfy this evening.
LIZZY: I think I play my men like a poker hand- I have a full house and I just keep bluffing.
CHURFY: Oh god, You’re like the female version of a ‘player’, minus the sleeping around. What are you gonna do when you meet a really nice guy and you don’t wanna play him?
LIZZY: If he’s awesome, I guess I’ll fold.
Or will I? I thought that I was ready to find a nice guy, and settle into having a boyfriend. I hate to admit this, and maybe there is something wrong with me, but the more men I have around, flattering me and catering to my every whim, the more addictive it becomes. How can I choose just one? Can I really settle down and be content? I would like to think so, and especially for a girl like me, you would think that I would want to settle down since I refuse to sleep with a guy that’s not my boyfriend, and having hot guys around that I can’t/won’t sleep with does get old. And is it really fair to toy with their feelings, even if I’m not in bed with them? I always thought not being physical made it ok, but now I’m starting to wonder, as emotions seem to crop up on their sides in spite of my strict rules. While I don’t think it’s despicable, odds are that if you want to date me or you start to fall for me, you are going to get played. I think I need to change that before it becomes an ingrained habit.
Out With The Old, In With The New
I have been back to work for about six days, and it has been a whirlwind of events. I will bring you up to speed briefly.
Right before my week off, I had gotten a message saying my truck needed to go off lease and there was a new truck waiting at the yard for me to move into. I asked what type of truck it was, and was told it was a Freightliner. I hate Freightliners. They are called ‘Freightshakers’ for a reason. I fired off a message to Randy, my amazing and supportive Driver Manager.
LIZZY: Randy, please say it isn’t true!! I don’t want a freightliner! I hate them!
RANDY: Afraid so, dear. It’s already here waiting for you.
LIZZY: NOOO!!!! I will throw a temper tantrum! I will picket in front of the office! PLEEEEAAASE!!! I really, really, really am not happy about this! I want a Volvo!
RANDY: Sorry dear, we have none right now.
LIZZY: I am so not happy right now.
RANDY: Tell you what. I’ll let you keep your truck for another week and see if I can find you a more suitable replacement. (Read: Volvo. Fingers crossed)
LIZZY: Thank you!
At the end of the week when I went back to work, Randy handed me the keys to my shiny new Volvo, complete with full fairings and shore power. (Full electrical supply plug- ins) I was ecstatic. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Randy!! I don’t know what I would do without you! You’re the best!” And the boys always ask if I get preferred treatment because I’m female…..psh, of course not!!!
I was also told to see Dan in Safety that morning. I went in nervous, as being called in is generally not a good thing.
DAN: Have a seat. Do you know why you are here?
LIZZY: No.
DAN: Did you think you were in trouble?
LIZZY: Um, yeah. Kind of.
DAN: Relax. You’re not. I have had very high recommendations and reports of you from several sources, and have looked into your records myself, and found them to be surprisingly clear of any concerns or problems. Which is why I would like to ask you if you would consider becoming an on-road driver trainer for Challenger. We will put you through some testing and courses, and then you will be taking students with you on the road to train and evaluate them. Is this something you’d be interested in?
LIZZY: Maybe. What’s in it for me?
DAN: A big fat raise.
LIZZY: Sign me up!
Ok, those last couple lines were ad-lib….they were actually more diplomatic than that, but that was the gist of it in layman’s terms. I headed happily off to California, with the new position awaiting my return. I’m not sure how I will like it, so I only agreed to do it for a few months on a trial basis, but I’m excited to try something new and the extra pay doesn’t look so bad either, as when I have a student I will earn 25-30 % more than I currently do. No complaints there.
Right before my week off, I had gotten a message saying my truck needed to go off lease and there was a new truck waiting at the yard for me to move into. I asked what type of truck it was, and was told it was a Freightliner. I hate Freightliners. They are called ‘Freightshakers’ for a reason. I fired off a message to Randy, my amazing and supportive Driver Manager.
LIZZY: Randy, please say it isn’t true!! I don’t want a freightliner! I hate them!
RANDY: Afraid so, dear. It’s already here waiting for you.
LIZZY: NOOO!!!! I will throw a temper tantrum! I will picket in front of the office! PLEEEEAAASE!!! I really, really, really am not happy about this! I want a Volvo!
RANDY: Sorry dear, we have none right now.
LIZZY: I am so not happy right now.
RANDY: Tell you what. I’ll let you keep your truck for another week and see if I can find you a more suitable replacement. (Read: Volvo. Fingers crossed)
LIZZY: Thank you!
At the end of the week when I went back to work, Randy handed me the keys to my shiny new Volvo, complete with full fairings and shore power. (Full electrical supply plug- ins) I was ecstatic. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Randy!! I don’t know what I would do without you! You’re the best!” And the boys always ask if I get preferred treatment because I’m female…..psh, of course not!!!
I was also told to see Dan in Safety that morning. I went in nervous, as being called in is generally not a good thing.
DAN: Have a seat. Do you know why you are here?
LIZZY: No.
DAN: Did you think you were in trouble?
LIZZY: Um, yeah. Kind of.
DAN: Relax. You’re not. I have had very high recommendations and reports of you from several sources, and have looked into your records myself, and found them to be surprisingly clear of any concerns or problems. Which is why I would like to ask you if you would consider becoming an on-road driver trainer for Challenger. We will put you through some testing and courses, and then you will be taking students with you on the road to train and evaluate them. Is this something you’d be interested in?
LIZZY: Maybe. What’s in it for me?
DAN: A big fat raise.
LIZZY: Sign me up!
Ok, those last couple lines were ad-lib….they were actually more diplomatic than that, but that was the gist of it in layman’s terms. I headed happily off to California, with the new position awaiting my return. I’m not sure how I will like it, so I only agreed to do it for a few months on a trial basis, but I’m excited to try something new and the extra pay doesn’t look so bad either, as when I have a student I will earn 25-30 % more than I currently do. No complaints there.
The Boy In Question
My time off started yesterday, and I’m very happy to be home as I have been very sick for the last 4 days and really needed to relax and feel better.
Kristi had asked me to spend time with her when I got home, so I agreed to go out for supper with her last night. She is a mutual friend of mine and Ryan’s. Yesterday afternoon he texted that he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me, and I kind of felt the same. An hour later he texted again.
RYAN: Kristi just asked me if I knew my chickie was home, and said she’s having dinner with you. What the hell?
LIZZY: Well, it’s not my fault she asked me out first.
RYAN: I thought we had plans?
LIZZY: We did?? I don’t remember making any. When did you ask?
RYAN: I said I couldn’t wait to see you…..
Oh, right….I forgot. To males this is considered making plans. To women this is nothing more than a vague comment. Silly me. Should have known…
LIZZY: Well, I’m not backing out on Kristi. Maybe I can see you later.
RYAN: Ok, let me know.
About an hour later, I got a text from Kristi.
KRISTI: I got a text from Ryan. He says to back off, he wants you tonight. Lol.
LIZZY: Silly boy. I will see him later.
KRISTI: Well, you can go out with Ryan. I’m suddenly not feeling well.
LIZZY: That’s suspicious. You sure?
KRISTI: Yeah. You’d have more fun with me. Let’s do dinner tomorrow. Ryan’s a bitch.
LIZZY: Ok, hun. See you tomorrow.
So I went out with Ryan for dinner, and he again brought up the subject of where things were going between us.
RYAN: So, I know I’ve brought this up before, but I’m just wondering if you are any more clear on where you see things going between us?
LIZZY: Wow, you know, this is a really awkward subject for me, and to be honest I don’t really know. I’m still getting to know you.
RYAN: It’s not that I want to rush you, but I don’t want to hide anything from you, and so I may as well tell you I was seeing someone when I met you. It wasn’t anything serious….kind of new, but when I started hanging out with you it made me rethink everything, and I realized you had all my attention.
LIZZY: (with a slight uncomfortable smile) Oh, so basically I won?
RYAN: (chuckles awkwardly) I guess you could say that. Anyway, I kind of just left the girl hanging. I suppose I will tell her it just isn’t going to work.
LIZZY: Why? Is she your back up plan in case I said I didn’t want you? That’s so comforting.
RYAN: Uh, no….not really. Huh….maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up. Sorry. Forget I said anything. Maybe this isn’t the best time.
LIZZY: I’m sorry I can’t give you the answer you are looking for, but I can’t make your decisions for you. You do whatever you feel you need or want to do. I am not going to put pressure on anyone, nor will I be pressured. I want to take things slow and know I am making the right decisions.
RYAN: Yeah, I guess that’s the best. Sorry I brought this up. I just wanted to be honest with you.
LIZZY: Thank you.
I stayed at Ryan’s a few times this week. We rode our motorcycles together and with Kristi and Russ, although there was a lot of tension between Kristi and Ryan, as they got in a fight and she is not speaking to him because she feels he is monopolizing my time and trying to keep me away from her. They spent most of their time accusing each other of being bitches, so I minimized conflict by splitting my time and not being around both of them together. I think Ryan started it, but he wanted to bury the hatchet, and Kristi was not co-operating. But aside from that, all is going well, and Ryan even babysat the Chihuahuas so I could go out for the evening with Kristi. It was a very busy week off, but I got a lot done and thoroughly enjoyed myself, even going dirt-biking with Russ, and swapping motorcycles with a co-worker so I could try out his zx-12. It was a powerful and fast bike. A good way to round out an excellent week.
Kristi had asked me to spend time with her when I got home, so I agreed to go out for supper with her last night. She is a mutual friend of mine and Ryan’s. Yesterday afternoon he texted that he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me, and I kind of felt the same. An hour later he texted again.
RYAN: Kristi just asked me if I knew my chickie was home, and said she’s having dinner with you. What the hell?
LIZZY: Well, it’s not my fault she asked me out first.
RYAN: I thought we had plans?
LIZZY: We did?? I don’t remember making any. When did you ask?
RYAN: I said I couldn’t wait to see you…..
Oh, right….I forgot. To males this is considered making plans. To women this is nothing more than a vague comment. Silly me. Should have known…
LIZZY: Well, I’m not backing out on Kristi. Maybe I can see you later.
RYAN: Ok, let me know.
About an hour later, I got a text from Kristi.
KRISTI: I got a text from Ryan. He says to back off, he wants you tonight. Lol.
LIZZY: Silly boy. I will see him later.
KRISTI: Well, you can go out with Ryan. I’m suddenly not feeling well.
LIZZY: That’s suspicious. You sure?
KRISTI: Yeah. You’d have more fun with me. Let’s do dinner tomorrow. Ryan’s a bitch.
LIZZY: Ok, hun. See you tomorrow.
So I went out with Ryan for dinner, and he again brought up the subject of where things were going between us.
RYAN: So, I know I’ve brought this up before, but I’m just wondering if you are any more clear on where you see things going between us?
LIZZY: Wow, you know, this is a really awkward subject for me, and to be honest I don’t really know. I’m still getting to know you.
RYAN: It’s not that I want to rush you, but I don’t want to hide anything from you, and so I may as well tell you I was seeing someone when I met you. It wasn’t anything serious….kind of new, but when I started hanging out with you it made me rethink everything, and I realized you had all my attention.
LIZZY: (with a slight uncomfortable smile) Oh, so basically I won?
RYAN: (chuckles awkwardly) I guess you could say that. Anyway, I kind of just left the girl hanging. I suppose I will tell her it just isn’t going to work.
LIZZY: Why? Is she your back up plan in case I said I didn’t want you? That’s so comforting.
RYAN: Uh, no….not really. Huh….maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up. Sorry. Forget I said anything. Maybe this isn’t the best time.
LIZZY: I’m sorry I can’t give you the answer you are looking for, but I can’t make your decisions for you. You do whatever you feel you need or want to do. I am not going to put pressure on anyone, nor will I be pressured. I want to take things slow and know I am making the right decisions.
RYAN: Yeah, I guess that’s the best. Sorry I brought this up. I just wanted to be honest with you.
LIZZY: Thank you.
I stayed at Ryan’s a few times this week. We rode our motorcycles together and with Kristi and Russ, although there was a lot of tension between Kristi and Ryan, as they got in a fight and she is not speaking to him because she feels he is monopolizing my time and trying to keep me away from her. They spent most of their time accusing each other of being bitches, so I minimized conflict by splitting my time and not being around both of them together. I think Ryan started it, but he wanted to bury the hatchet, and Kristi was not co-operating. But aside from that, all is going well, and Ryan even babysat the Chihuahuas so I could go out for the evening with Kristi. It was a very busy week off, but I got a lot done and thoroughly enjoyed myself, even going dirt-biking with Russ, and swapping motorcycles with a co-worker so I could try out his zx-12. It was a powerful and fast bike. A good way to round out an excellent week.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Murphy's Field Day
The last 24 hours, I think everything that could go wrong, did. You just have those days you think maybe you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed, and this was one of them. I drove to Ringgold, Virginia, for my pick up which should have been quick. I dropped my empty trailer and tried to pick up the loaded one. It had been dropped way too high, which meant I needed to crank the landing gear down to lower the trailer. But it was very heavy and I could barely turn the handle, so it took me about half an hour of struggling and sweating in the southern heat to get it to where it needed to be. It was all good now….or not. As I backed under the trailer, it simply rolled backwards and I couldn’t back under it far enough to connect. The brakes didn’t seem to be working properly. I decided to connect the airlines and supply air to the brake system as I backed under, as this should have helped, but it didn’t. The trailer still rolled. It had no brakes at all. I contacted dispatch and they called a repairman to come out. I was hot and sweaty and felt horribly grimy and desperately wanted a shower. I asked the shipper if it was ok with them if I went to get a shower and they could tell the repairman what to do when he arrived. It was not a problem for them, so off I went. I felt so much better as I walked back to my truck, gloriously clean and smelling more like a girl and less like a trucker. I had an urgent message on the satellite computer in my truck. “Where are you? The mechanic is onsite and can’t find you.”
I rushed back to the shipper but he was gone. They said they let him in the gate, but he had not come inside or talked to anyone, just left. I knew this would come back on me. I called dispatch and asked them to send the mechanic back. They tried. He refused, and said he had no time. He would come tomorrow. But the load had to be delivered tomorrow, and it was for a big important customer. They contacted a different repair company and sent someone out. By the time he arrived and fixed the trailer, I could never make it to the delivery on time, so they decided to have me switch with another driver in Pennsylvania.
I headed out in the morning. Never have I ever gotten so many messages in a day. I was hit with a barrage of them, and of course they were all extremely urgent.
“Lizzy, it’s Randy. I need an eta to Pennsylvania asap”
“Lizzy, it’s Trish. Did you set up an appointment for your F.A.S.T. card reapplication interview? It’s very important. Please respond asap.”
“Lizzy, its Dave. Please come see me in the safety department when you get back to Cambridge.”
“Lizzy, it’s Randy again. I need you to fax me the paperwork for the last load, ASAP!! This is very urgent.”
I couldn’t even answer them as fast as they were coming in. So as I walking to the fax machine, papers in hand, I was also on the phone with Customs, setting up my interview for the F.A.S.T. card, while figuring out my arrival to Waverly Pennsylania. Of course the fax machine wasn’t working. Try another place. Theirs was broken too. Third time is the charm. I was getting stressed. Deep breath. One thing at a time. It’s work, it’s nothing personal. Knock things off the list one at a time.
Finally I was back on the road again to my meeting with the other driver. I pulled into the lot in Waverly, and the other driver was waiting for me. He got out of his truck and raised his eyebrows. “Woah, I didn’t realize you would be a girl.”
“That’s probably because I don’t go out of my way to tell people I’m female. Here’s your paperwork.”
“You single?”
Grrr. “As in, do I drive solo, or am I boyfriendless?”
“Hehe…..either, I guess.”
He was trashy looking with rotten teeth. And creepy. “I drive solo, but I have a boyfriend. We’re very in love.” (That was a lie.)
“Oh, that’s cool.” He was very jittery, and told me it was because he desperately needed a smoke, and proceeded to bum five bucks off me for cigarettes even though it hadn’t even been a week since payday. I sighed. I wasn’t gonna fight anything more today. I gave it to him, while thinking, ‘Why the hell am I paying for someone else’s smokes? I don’t even smoke! And how bottom of the barrel is that? Bumming money off female co-workers?!’
A phone call from Randy. “Lizzy, you faxed me the wrong paperwork. I need the one with the customers signatures on it.”
“Oh, crap. I don’t have it. I accidentally kept the one without the signatures. Sorry.”
He sighed. “Ok, well, if you don’t have it, you don’t have it.”
“Sorry Randy. Everything is going wrong the last day or two.”
“Uh huh. And it’s all coming back on you and me, girl.”
Smarter Lizzy, smarter. Get your head out of the clouds and stop making mistakes. Mind on the job. Think things through. I know this is no one’s fault but mine. I’m not used to that. Things will be better tomorrow.
I rushed back to the shipper but he was gone. They said they let him in the gate, but he had not come inside or talked to anyone, just left. I knew this would come back on me. I called dispatch and asked them to send the mechanic back. They tried. He refused, and said he had no time. He would come tomorrow. But the load had to be delivered tomorrow, and it was for a big important customer. They contacted a different repair company and sent someone out. By the time he arrived and fixed the trailer, I could never make it to the delivery on time, so they decided to have me switch with another driver in Pennsylvania.
I headed out in the morning. Never have I ever gotten so many messages in a day. I was hit with a barrage of them, and of course they were all extremely urgent.
“Lizzy, it’s Randy. I need an eta to Pennsylvania asap”
“Lizzy, it’s Trish. Did you set up an appointment for your F.A.S.T. card reapplication interview? It’s very important. Please respond asap.”
“Lizzy, its Dave. Please come see me in the safety department when you get back to Cambridge.”
“Lizzy, it’s Randy again. I need you to fax me the paperwork for the last load, ASAP!! This is very urgent.”
I couldn’t even answer them as fast as they were coming in. So as I walking to the fax machine, papers in hand, I was also on the phone with Customs, setting up my interview for the F.A.S.T. card, while figuring out my arrival to Waverly Pennsylania. Of course the fax machine wasn’t working. Try another place. Theirs was broken too. Third time is the charm. I was getting stressed. Deep breath. One thing at a time. It’s work, it’s nothing personal. Knock things off the list one at a time.
Finally I was back on the road again to my meeting with the other driver. I pulled into the lot in Waverly, and the other driver was waiting for me. He got out of his truck and raised his eyebrows. “Woah, I didn’t realize you would be a girl.”
“That’s probably because I don’t go out of my way to tell people I’m female. Here’s your paperwork.”
“You single?”
Grrr. “As in, do I drive solo, or am I boyfriendless?”
“Hehe…..either, I guess.”
He was trashy looking with rotten teeth. And creepy. “I drive solo, but I have a boyfriend. We’re very in love.” (That was a lie.)
“Oh, that’s cool.” He was very jittery, and told me it was because he desperately needed a smoke, and proceeded to bum five bucks off me for cigarettes even though it hadn’t even been a week since payday. I sighed. I wasn’t gonna fight anything more today. I gave it to him, while thinking, ‘Why the hell am I paying for someone else’s smokes? I don’t even smoke! And how bottom of the barrel is that? Bumming money off female co-workers?!’
A phone call from Randy. “Lizzy, you faxed me the wrong paperwork. I need the one with the customers signatures on it.”
“Oh, crap. I don’t have it. I accidentally kept the one without the signatures. Sorry.”
He sighed. “Ok, well, if you don’t have it, you don’t have it.”
“Sorry Randy. Everything is going wrong the last day or two.”
“Uh huh. And it’s all coming back on you and me, girl.”
Smarter Lizzy, smarter. Get your head out of the clouds and stop making mistakes. Mind on the job. Think things through. I know this is no one’s fault but mine. I’m not used to that. Things will be better tomorrow.
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