The Gauntlet

So, I should mention Lada. We have been friends for about 3 years. We met one day while out on our motorcycles, exchanged numbers and have been e-mailing and texting ever since. We have always talked alot. He made no secret of the fact that he thought I was hot and wanted to sleep with me. But that is not my style, and I told him it was not going to happen. About two years into the friendship, I got tired of his male pushiness and the fact that he didn't always seem straightforward and transparent, so I told him the friendship wasn't worth it to me and that I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He begged me not to do it, said he didn't want to be cut out of my life but that if that's what I wanted, he would respect that. In the end, I caved and put him on a six month ban. He was not allowed to talk to me. At one point he e-mailed me to say he missed me, but I did not answer it. For sure guys do not wait like this right? Completely irrational of me. Sure to drive him away. It did not work. Six months passed and I got an e-mail asking if it was ok to talk to me again. I had to honour the deal. We started talking again.We have killed the battery on his cell phone on several occasions we talk so long.He wanted to spend time with me, but one of us was always busy, and I admit it may have been on purpose at times. So finally he cornered me and asked me to come have supper at his place with him and his friends. I went even though I was tense and nervous, and he could see how uncomfortable I was, so he just talked a mile a minute to make up for it. I sat outside with him as he barbecued and we talked. It was relaxing. He is not extremely hot, but is definitely cute, and has an amazing soothing voice I love to listen to. After supper we had a couple minutes to ourselves when no one was in the room. Lada sighed, grabbed my arms, pulled me close and kissed my forehead., which was incredibly sweet. I melted. Later that evening we kissed, and I seriously got butterflies. Pathetic. I'm thinking there is a lot of chemistry there, because the boy shivers when I touch him. It's awesome. We curled up on the couch and watched t.v. and talked and it was just so comfortable I wished I could have stayed like that, with his arms around me and his face buried in my hair. But I'm not sure I can trust myself to behave, so I left even though I know he wanted me to stay. He continued to text me for the next couple hours till I said Goodnight. He said he knew from the first time we talked that I was genuine and something special, and that is why he stuck out the six month ban. I was glad to know that, but I still find him confusing. I don't really know for sure what he wants. Maybe I'm just bad at this.