Who Let the Crazies Out?

I was up too late last night, chatting online with friends….catching up on news, getting grilled about my sanity by Ninja. I did my best to convince him that I really truly am sane, and that he takes an unnecessarily skeptical view of a trucker’s mental state.
So I got up early and headed out on the road. Part way through the day, I stopped at a rest area to use the bathroom and eat my lunch. As I was coming back to my truck, I was intercepted by a rather odd looking, weather beaten woman who apparently was also a truck driver and parked next to me. She wanted to show me her Chihuahua, which was adorable, and asked how long I’d been driving. I told her five and a half years, and she seemed surprised and told me it was her first week on the job, and proceeded to pretty much tell me her life story. She was a widow, she said, going in a new direction. I told her I was sorry for her loss. She went on to tell me how she had all these weird visions of numbers, and people would just appear and disappear, and perhaps they were angels. And the new world order is rising, and muslims are taking over the world, and there are going to be more and more people like her, banding together for the greater good. The following conversation went something like this: (for simplicity I shall call her BC, for Basket Case)

BC: Do you believe in God?
LIZZY: Yes, I do.
BC: (tearing up) Because just yesterday I prayed to God to let me meet someone exactly like me, and here you are!
Whoa, whoa, lady. You and I are NOTHING alike…..for instance, I don’t need to be in a mental institution.
LIZZY: Oh, really?
BC: Yes, and it’s like you were sent straight from God.
Well, I am pretty special, if I do say so myself. In fact, I rather consider myself a gift from God to the whole world……
BC: We need to get out and spread the love of God to everybody…..just talk to everyone!
LIZZY: I shall leave that in your more than capable hands. I don’t really talk to people.
BC: Now is the time to start….it is coming.
What the hell? What’s coming? This is sounding ominous….
BC: Teach your family how to love.
LIZZY: Uh, I am not married and don’t have kids.
BC: Your other family. Your siblings and parents.
LIZZY: I’m pretty sure they have that under control.
BC: We don’t have much time…the evil one is coming.
Holy crap, this is like the beginning of a horror movie. This never ends well…
LIZZY: That is definitely a concern….but I kind of have to go.
Shit, Ninja was so right….this is complete insanity. No wonder he’s concerned for my mental state.

I excused myself and headed out again, just in awe of the crazy people among us. About half an hour later, a car full of young guys passed me, and they saw me. They tried to get me to use the air horn on the truck. I laughed. They were trying to yell to me as they drove beside me, but I kept my window up. They were blowing kisses and waving, and one of them was trying to get me to flash them. I gave him the finger and shook my head. So he took off his shirt. Why? I do not know. Men are not always smart and mature. The genius then decided it would be even better if he pulled his pants down, right there in the car on the highway with a huge audience. So there he was, just with everything in plain view in the back window, thinking he was the life of the party. I turned my head and tried to hide my face, as it was all drawing a terrible amount of attention and hugely embarrassing. His buddy seemed embarrassed for him and mouthed “sorry” to me, while looking a bit red himself. I said thanks. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up, and all was right with the world again…..once they left.
The broker apparently misplaced my border paperwork as well, so I had to stop and send a 56 page, $112 dollar fax. That has got to be the single most expensive fax in history. All in all, an eventful and entertaining day.