Confessions Of a Window Shopper

Okay, let me just start by saying.........oh, what the hell, might as well get right to it.
As I have said before, men are beautiful. Also hot. And sexy. Sometimes. Which brings me to a point. Yes, I look at you. If you are extremely hot, I am definitely looking. Unless I think you notice. Then I give you the old, "Pervert. Of course I wasn't looking at you, you just wish I was" look to save face. So here's the deal. Allow me to enlighten men everywhere with a couple of easy to follow, point- form observations.

1) I window shop. ( This is when I am driving on the highway. Most women window shop for clothes and shoes. My window shopping involves checking out guys in pickup trucks.)

2) Don't worry, I do this safely. Eyes on the road first, men second.

3) If you are driving beside my transport truck, I can see right into your pickup truck, so please avoid doing any dudely things like picking your nose or scratching your balls till you pass me.

4) Just because I CAN see you, doesn't mean I want you to unzip your pants. Please, keep it PG. It doesn't turn me on. It makes me call the police.

5) The best thing you could do is wave or possibly blow me a kiss, then get the hell gone.

6) You should be flattered, but don't let it lead to stupidity on your part, cause we all know too well the stupidity of which you are capable.

So there you have it. I have confessed. And to your wife/girlfriend I say, stop giving me dirty looks, bitch, and be glad SOMEONE thinks you got a catch, cause god knows your in-laws don't.